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Chortle - the pate swapped right for left and ended south of the wrinkles! (9,5)
(Hopefully) thinking caps on! 
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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Does the solution relate to a joker (not The Joker) by any means? 
Your time will come, if you let it be right.
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Probably not...
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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Clowns are not involved.
This is a civilised website.
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When we were in Paris we saw clowns walking on the street being cheered! If that doesn't prove how uncivilised froggie is, then nothing will.
veni bibi saltavi
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Nagy Vilmos wrote: clowns walking on the street being cheered!
Hopefully that was because the traffic was driving over their twitching corpses?
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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NO! They'd closed the friggin Champs Eliyee for them! And the sad part? Just after them was a brace of E-types. Why didn't they accelerate?
veni bibi saltavi
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I'd line up clowns and Morris Dancers and see how many I could get on a single skewer... 
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This was Paris, they had frogging Morris Dancers as well. And a Morris Minor if my memory serves me well.
veni bibi saltavi
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Paris.
Clowns.
Morris Dancers.
You spent the new year in Hades this time, not France!
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Jokes apart, we had gone out for a walk and ended up on the Champs Elysee. As we went down we saw a large crowd and, thinking it must be a queue, we joined it. It was the Mayor of Paris's New Year Parade. It was a rather eclectic collection of Circuses [advertising their wares], through to the aforementioned devils incarnate by way of marching bands, dancing girls and even a Hungarian Majorette Baton Twirling act.
After laughing at that we went home and had a drink. Or more.
veni bibi saltavi
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Hey, I used to dance Morris. It was a good gig for free beer.
Life is like a s**t sandwich; the more bread you have, the less s**t you eat.
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Maybe, but you can't be circumcised to be a Morris Dancer...
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Possibly not, but it's very risky for the fingers if you're doing it right (booze + long stick dance = ouch!)
Life is like a s**t sandwich; the more bread you have, the less s**t you eat.
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Can we have an English translation of the clue?
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
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Yes.
At (or just after) 13:00 
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Meanwhile you may cure some love problems in the QA  ...
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
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I think it should be 8,5.
Laughter Lines
Chortle - Laugh
Pate - Terrine
Swapped right for left - Ter Line
Ended South - s
One day I aspire to having a signature.
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Yes - I can't even count today... 
Sorry about that, chaps...
Your turn tomorrow!
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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First Movie Quote Of The Day Of The Year
Nobody. No body, that's what we mean. Mr. Boddy's body, it's gone.
You have absolutely no clue which movie this could be, do you?
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Nope. But, I suspect it was Professor Plum, in the study, with the lead pipe... 
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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No Clue...
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
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I'm sure he'll give us a clue if we ask nicely?
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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What with Lionel Blair?
veni bibi saltavi
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