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Well...
We recently sent our client an update for the mockups of a new website we're about to start developing, in the form of a zip containing a couple of jpeg images (actually the images were mockups for the custom 404 and 500 error pages). So far so good.
Minutes later, our PM got an angry call from the client. Here's how it roughly went down:
[Client]: Hey, the mockups you sent over are not working at all. All I'm getting is errors!
[PM]: What do you mean, that the zip file is corrupt? That you can't open the images?
[Client]: No, the zip is not corrupt, and I can "open" the files, but when I do, I get an error! Fix it NOW!
[PM]: Ok... What kind of error?
[Client]: I get a 404 error on one image and a 500 error on the other. I said, FIX IT NOW!!!
[PM]: hm, you do realize that you're seeing the MOCKUPS for the CUSTOM ERROR pages, right? That you're supposed to see an IMAGE displaying an ERROR. Right?
[Client]:...
Φευ! Εδόμεθα υπό ρηννοσχήμων λύκων!
(Alas! We're devoured by lamb-guised wolves!)
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Brilliant! Well done to all concerned
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Sounds like the only thing that needs fixing is the client! 
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Client can not be fixed! And 101% of clients behave like this in a lot of occasions...Better get used to it...
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
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You must not know IBM System/360 programming:
XC - eXecute Client
(actually Xor Character)
EDIT: For the humour-impaired, this was intended to raise a smile. It perhaps did not achieve the desired effect, but I certainly do not advocate harming clients in any way.
If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack.
--Winston Churchill
modified 7-Dec-15 10:51am.
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I'm old enought to learn on mainframe and I can remember that eXecute here means this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Contract_killing[^]
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
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You must have had some really weird instructors (and an even weirder mainframe  ).
If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack.
--Winston Churchill
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Typical of clients. Get used to it. It's going to happen far more often than you can put up with.
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Next time you send a mock up clearly describe what you are sending, this is a mock up of the the custom error pages and you would not have a pissed off, embarrassed client.
If you did describe it correctly then you are running up against the standard reaction of a client, they hire you therefore they feel they have the right to yell at you.
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity
RAH
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Mycroft Holmes wrote: Next time you send a mock up clearly describe what you are sending, this is a mock up of the the custom error pages and you would not have a pissed off, embarrassed client.
Yeah, we did describe it. Something along the lines of "please review the images that show the design of the custom error pages".
From what I know, a few hours later, both the client and the PM were laughing about it (kudos to the client for being able to be auto-sarcastic).
Φευ! Εδόμεθα υπό ρηννοσχήμων λύκων!
(Alas! We're devoured by lamb-guised wolves!)
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An easy one because I'm out of office tomorrow
#FDF5E6 (7)
modified 7-Dec-15 5:43am.
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Ahh, machine code, a short and not very clear sequence of two instructions.
xxx0 FD F5 SDI 0xF5 - Subtract F5 from the accumulator, result back into the accumulator
xxx2 E6 SEX R6 - Make register 6 the stack pointer, best instruction ever
At least according to the CDP1802 data sheet.[^]
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns.
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Not what I had in mind no
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Isn't it (3,4)?
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
modified 7-Dec-15 5:00am.
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Like it! 
(But it's still "Magnolia" to me!)
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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99.2% red, 96.1% green, and 90.2% blue.
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Now you're all just teasing me 
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Oh no. It is a good one.
We just want to giver others a chance to solve it too.
But after posting I realised that my post may be a too nearby clue.
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OK...So that's a code for a named color called Old Lace, that used to be OldLace because no space allowed in names around programming (mostly)...
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
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Yes, that's right. You're up tomorrow 
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Nice one.
I thought of the more generic answer: colours
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I upset my younger daughter yesterday while we were making kolbasz[^] and hurka[^] for our Christmas eatings. 15kg of kolbasz and 8kg of hurka...
I was humming the Peppa Pig theme, saying which member of the family each piece of meat came from and suggesting that Aunty could make a fair few pounds with tie-in products.
Apparently she wasn't impressed.
BTW Peppa was delicious!
veni bibi saltavi
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There's a version of Peppa Pig in Germany as well...called "Peppa Wutz"
My 3-year-old son likes that, too. Too sad I have to tell him he can't watch it anymore 
Oink Oink!
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U. G. Leander wrote: There's a version of Peppa Pig in Germany as well...called "Peppa Wutz wurst[^]"
Fixed that for you....
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