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It seems a local football (soccer) club has practiced their new innovative trick, the encrypted shot.
By playing encrypted shots to their team members they hope the ball won't be intercepted by other (opposing) players.
It would take 312 years for the opponent to intercept a shot to the forward players, if they even notice the ball was kicked at all.
Spectators will probably need to get used to not seeing the team play, but at least their shot-system is now waterproof.
It's from a Dutch satirical "news" website.
For the Dutchies: Spelers Cambuur gaan encrypted passes verzenden - De Speld[^]
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This doesn't make any sense.
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That's the joke 
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Apparently he durrent get it. 
Get me coffee and no one gets hurt!
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It's too cryptic, obviously.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Yup!
Get me coffee and no one gets hurt!
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There are 2 kinds of computer users in the world:
Those who regularly backup data and systems images, and those who wish to gawd they did! 
Get me coffee and no one gets hurt!
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I took an image of my C drive yesterday after the news of the ransomware emails spreading through the UK press.
“That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”
― Christopher Hitchens
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Do you pay a "wu mao" or two? Two upvotes for that looks very much like sock-puppetry, given that the person you replied to didn't get an upvote for actually saying what you only gave a thumbs-up to.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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I've been wondering about those upvotes myself? I've had nothing to do with it. It's not the first time I see phantom upvotes.
Get me coffee and no one gets hurt!
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... Aaaand even that gets an upvote.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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This is getting ridiculous! 
Get me coffee and no one gets hurt!
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You can have an upvote too - don't want you to feel left out
“That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”
― Christopher Hitchens
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How DARE you upvote the kind of garbage that I spout!
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Here, have another upvote 
“That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”
― Christopher Hitchens
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Very humorous! 
Get me coffee and no one gets hurt!
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Oh stoppit!
Get me coffee and no one gets hurt!
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Why? Do you open e-mail from people you don't know?
Did you miss the 27,000 memos, too?
99% of good security boils down to not doing stupid things.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Sounds like you fall into the second category. Good luck!
Get me coffee and no one gets hurt!
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Kidding, right? My back-up routine falls under the military category "Mutual Support", with files flying in every direction, from every machine to every machine, in perfectly-timed relays.
It's better planned than the bus services in most cities.
I could lose two-thirds of the machines on my network without losing a file, and would only lose any important files if all the devices failed at the same time as the Internet was switched off forever.
But I'm still not so stupid as to open e-mails from people I don't know, and will only open attachments to e-mails if the person has told me in advance (through a medium other than e-mail) that he's sending me an e-mail with an attachment.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Seems you have backups under control. The problem is not emails from scumbag entities, but more: Infected websites. I NEVER EVER open emails from untrusted sources, especially if it says it has an invoice attached.  However, when browsing for info on the Internet: How do you know in advance that a particular link that came up in Google is infected? I refuse to cower in a safe little corner of the Internet for fear of infection. Because of a disciplined backup regime, I can recover from an infection in a minimum of time. (So far this year I had to do it three times!)
Get me coffee and no one gets hurt!
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Well, my Interwebs use is pretty dull, compared to most people's. I haven't done much surfing for years (mainly because 85% of what you find by surfing is better left unfound), and I never click links that have emphatic adjectives in them.
"This could cause me to have to do work that I don't want to do" is always in the back of my mind, so I always think twice before clicking almost anything.
I think I'll get a T-shirt printed with "Curiosity Killed the Computer!" (and "No, I won't Fix it for You!" on the back).
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Some of the Rasnsomware also encrypts connected and network devices too.
Like Cloud Backups.
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