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Friday about noon, I got a message from the wife that 2 of my 16 year old son's friends had frantically texted her that he was saying that he was going to run away and kill himself that night. (His girlfriend of over a year had ended the relationship Thursday at lunch.) I immediately contacted the school and they got him into the counselor's office.
We went from there to a local mental health facility and he was admitted. He is still there and angry with his parents. He may be released any time in the next few days. We haven't met with the officials yet to see what treatment plan they recommend.
He has been battling this for 2 years now with several semi-violent outbursts. He has hit the wall and shoved me but no punches at people so far.
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If that may help you, I had these bursts too at that age. Hormones and teenage society (apes with too many dangerous things at hand) mixed together go kaboom.
Make sure it is really an illness to be treated and not something transient or related to some very specific situation he's living in.
DURA LEX, SED LEX
GCS d--- s-/++ a- C++++ U+++ P- L- E-- W++ N++ o+ K- w+++ O? M-- V? PS+ PE- Y+ PGP t++ 5? X R++ tv-- b+ DI+++ D++ G e++>+++ h--- ++>+++ y+++* Weapons extension: ma- k++ F+2 X
If you think 'goto' is evil, try writing an Assembly program without JMP. -- TNCaver
When I was six, there were no ones and zeroes - only zeroes. And not all of them worked. -- Ravi Bhavnani
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No, we found a suicide note last year so we know this is an ongoing thing. We had him go to counseling then and he is on medication.
My parenting skills or lack thereof have played a part in this as well.
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Don't start blaming yourself, I too had self-destructing and suicidal tendencies at that age and while my parents had for sure some lackings, they are good parents in the whole picture (always had them and have them at my back when serious things are going on). I'm 90% sure it's more related to the age than to psychiatrical problem (different from psychological: the psychiatric problems need meds because are physiological, psychological problems need conseuling).
Double and triple check if and to what extent medications are necessary if you can because medications have long lasting effect - psychological dependency is one of them. It ingrains the thought that a person is ill, and that hits self-esteem thus furhtering any autodestructive tendency; also it puts the idea that a medication is the solution to everything - I have a 26 years old friend grew up this way and now she takes a dozen pill every day, adding hypocondria to the problems she has and never solving hers (daddy issues, long story short her father suffered a seizure that impaired his cognition and emotional centres, he left the family and isn't properly stable. It happened when she was 4 so she grew up with a distressed mother and basically no father).
If I'm allowed I would give you one advice: don't blame yourself to the point of being subservient to every whim or there is the risk of aggravating any damage by unintentionally spoiling the boy.
I speak for direct experience and I'm baring very sensitive parts of my past, I'm not speaking just to hear the sound of my voice.
DURA LEX, SED LEX
GCS d--- s-/++ a- C++++ U+++ P- L- E-- W++ N++ o+ K- w+++ O? M-- V? PS+ PE- Y+ PGP t++ 5? X R++ tv-- b+ DI+++ D++ G e++>+++ h--- ++>+++ y+++* Weapons extension: ma- k++ F+2 X
If you think 'goto' is evil, try writing an Assembly program without JMP. -- TNCaver
When I was six, there were no ones and zeroes - only zeroes. And not all of them worked. -- Ravi Bhavnani
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I think you did the right thing.
There was a kid in my HS who committed suicide after his steady girl friend broke up with him. He jumped off an overpass onto the interstate while a 18 wheeler was coming. He died, and the 18 wheeler operators (team drivers) ended up in counseling themselves. One had to quit driving, it messed him up.
If someone had stepped in, that kid could still be here today, and those drivers wouldn't have been mentally messed up for something that wasn't their fault.
Deciding when to commit someone is hard. You'll doubt and questions yourself all the time, which instance crossed the line? But I'll affirm your decision.
Whatever you do, make sure to start spending some quality time with your son, and make sure to keep him surrounded with people who also love him, don't let him have a lot of time isolated and alone. Things won't be easy when he comes home. Getting help for mental issues is a marathon, not a sprint.
I'm dealing with things like this myself. I always question did I act soon enough? Did I misinterpret what happened? Mental issues are far too blurry to make a firm decision until it is nearly too late. But suicide is a huge risk.
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Probably telling you what you already know, but you need to find out what he's angry about..
In my experience, people tend to talk more openly and calmly when they're completely tired out through exercise. It'll be a challenge but you need to get him out, do something together that physically knackers you both (away from pretty much everyone else), then get to the bottom of what's going on.
You need something that saps his energy (and wears off any thoughts of fighting) before you'll get anywhere. And it's not going to be easy..
Ah, I see you have the machine that goes ping. This is my favorite. You see we lease it back from the company we sold it to and that way it comes under the monthly current budget and not the capital account.
modified 31-Aug-21 21:01pm.
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Try to hook him up with your gay friends. That is how canadians try to help in these situations.
modified 20-Oct-19 21:02pm.
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Hmm, can't say I saw that one coming... 
"the debugger doesn't tell me anything because this code compiles just fine" - random QA comment
"Facebook is where you tell lies to your friends. Twitter is where you tell the truth to strangers." - chriselst
"I don't drink any more... then again, I don't drink any less." - Mike Mullikins uncle
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If your intent here was to be humorous, this is waaaay out of line given the subject matter and the OP's clear distress with this situation.
If it's not broken, fix it until it is.
Everything makes sense in someone's mind.
Ya can't fix stupid.
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Actually, and I have a lot of experience with depression, I thought it was funny. People are way too sensitive these days. You never know, maybe the right man will help put a smile on his face. 
Jeremy Falcon
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You, your wife, and the school did the right thing.
Now that the immediate danger is past, you need to determine whether the appropriate treatment is psychological, psychiatric, or a combination of the two. From the little that you've shared, this is not the typical teen depression about breaking up.
I hope you and your family get through this very trying time.
If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack.
--Winston Churchill
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Yeah, not to sound insensitive and all, but if you kid hits you, he clearly does not respect you as a man bro. That's just God's honest truth.
On a side note, can always take him to a strip club to help get over the ex.
Jeremy Falcon
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While I'm sorry your kid is so pissed off with his life I have never understood "depression". My DIL apparently has depression so I have seen it first hand and still don't understand it.
I always felt that pampering a depressed person was just reinforcing the attitude but then I'm rather old school. Give him a whack upside the ear and tell him to get on with his life and not be such a miserable little git.
And now you know why no one takes my advice on this subject.
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity
RAH
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I've been raised that way and while I'm not the most equilibrate person on Earth (but the, who is?) and depression only hit me in stride, it was the usual teenage angst mixed to bullying at school - which I always responded too and learnt that no, even hitting back is not enough for the bulliest to stop, at the very least they gang up and come back. They even followed me home and I got them right at the front door. That was their unlucky day.
DURA LEX, SED LEX
GCS d--- s-/++ a- C++++ U+++ P- L- E-- W++ N++ o+ K- w+++ O? M-- V? PS+ PE- Y+ PGP t++ 5? X R++ tv-- b+ DI+++ D++ G e++>+++ h--- ++>+++ y+++* Weapons extension: ma- k++ F+2 X
If you think 'goto' is evil, try writing an Assembly program without JMP. -- TNCaver
When I was six, there were no ones and zeroes - only zeroes. And not all of them worked. -- Ravi Bhavnani
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I am about to embark on some web development and the question is - VB 2015 or C# 6? I am a Visual Basic man right back from Sinclair's first ZX Spectrum. Since then, any programming I've had to do was usually in VB. I even contracted for a large company and wrote a number of large programs in VB. Since I've been dabbling in websites, I've used C# for the odd bit of coding I've needed but am not familiar with the latest assemblies; C# 3.0, possibly 4.0, was the last I used.
I now want to try and re-write a site for my Bowling Club with the look and feel of Win10 using Bootstrap/Bootmetro. There is an SQL Server database holding the last 4 years worth of information currently set up which is currently displayed by a poor front-end website. I want to recode the website using VS 2015 ASP.NET Core 1.0 and either VB 2015 or C# 6.0, but which?
Thank you for the replies below which all say "Go with C#". That I will do. I have found another reason to go with it - ASP.NET Core 1.0 doesn't support VB.
modified 5-Dec-16 10:36am.
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I recommend C# - not because of any inherent difference between the languages but because you should work on being a polyglot programmer by making more use of your "weaker" languages.
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Always go with C# because that is what the industry has primarily adopted. It's very easy to switch back and forth between C# and VB if you had to but very few code samples online are in VB.
There are two kinds of people in the world: those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.
There are only 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.
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Go C#. VB is for liberal snowflakes that are afraid to commit to a strongly typed paradigm.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
modified 5-Dec-16 13:04pm.
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John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote: Go C#. VB is for liberal snowflakes conservative flatulaters that are afraid to commit to a strongly type paradigm.
FIFY
| Ravings en masse^ |
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| "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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Hey, nothing wrong with conserving one's flatulence. You never know when it will come in handy. 
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Slacker007 wrote: You never know when it will come in handy.
Yes, you do. Because it's always handy.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote: VB is for liberal snowflakes that are afraid to commit to a strongly typed paradigm.
I think I'm going to co-opt that and replace VB with my favorite loathsome script language du jour.
Marc
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Permission granted, sir.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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If just a personal project go with what you are comfortable bit.
But if wanting to expand skills with something that is more commercially used at the moment then I'd use c#.
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I'm in the C# camp but really only because of my path from BASIC to C and C++ (with a few others along the way - PHP, Protel, Swift, etc). I really like C# but you can achieve most (if not all) of the same things with VB.NET - if you're comfortable with that, I'd say stick with it as you'll be more productive.
As for ASP.NET Core, it looks really promising - the idea is great, but it's still early days. There are some holes around using Entity Framework (e.g. building and running an ASP.NET app on Linux/Mac that uses a SQL Server/SQL Azure backend) and publishing your finished app. I've played around with JetBrains Rider[^] which is really good (much better than VS Code in my opinion), but I think that a bit more development is needed to make it dependable for production apps.
If you're just looking to get into C# then go for it..
Ah, I see you have the machine that goes ping. This is my favorite. You see we lease it back from the company we sold it to and that way it comes under the monthly current budget and not the capital account.
modified 31-Aug-21 21:01pm.
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