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Wrote a new SQL Scalar function in SSMS toady, and just couldn't get it to do anything:
SELECT MyFunctionName(MyColumn) FROM MyTable Just underlined it in red and gave me
'MyFunctionName' is not a recognized built-in function name. And wouldn't run my query.
SELECT dbo.MyFunctionName(MyColumn) FROM MyTable Underlined it in red, said
Cannot find either column "dbo" ot the user-defined function or aggregate "dbo.MyFunctionName", or the name is ambiguous. But would run it, and returned null for all rows.
Spent an hour trawling google and playing with user execute permissions. Starting to pull my hair out.
Then I looked closely at the function and realised I didn't use the input parameter at all, and the function was rightly returning null... 
I still hate SSMS and functions...but it works now... 
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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That is so reassuring to us mere mortals. 
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Glad to be of help! 
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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And you ask yourself why functions require schema name, but not stored procedures and views and tables...
Good question...
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
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And why it can't find them, but runs them happily... 
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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Oh...That one...The intellisense of SSMS is just does not exists...Even SQL is case-insensitive dbo and DBO are not the same for intellisense...So do not expect too much there...(It's one of the most reported bugs, but Microsoft do not plan to do anything with it for now)
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
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Kornfeld Eliyahu Peter wrote: intellisense of SSMS
Is completely pointless; I turn it off.
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Red-Gate's tool (SQL Prompt) is more flexible!
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity
RAH
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[Ctrl]+[Shift]+[R] any time you change anything other than data. In my world that has confused the crap out of many a junior developer (or people more used to Visual Studio)
My plan is to live forever ... so far so good
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You forgot to mention the complete lack of meaningful error messages in SSMS...
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
-----
You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
-----
When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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My all time favorite is "String or binary data would be truncated"...Where?!
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
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That's easy. In any column that isn't NVARCHAR(MAX). 
No object is so beautiful that, under certain conditions, it will not look ugly. - Oscar Wilde
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Now please explain me why I should trust you I think it is only one time more: sh*t simply happens 
Bruno
modified 19-Jan-21 21:04pm.
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That's exactly the reason I don't like business rules in SQL Server... Try troubleshooting that #@$#*@#*@^R#@#^!!
And it gets really annoying that any object you create isn't recognized by intellisense or even any query (but runs fine) until after you restart SSMS completely (just reconnecting to your database won't work)!
My blog[ ^]
public class SanderRossel : Lazy<Person>
{
public void DoWork()
{
throw new NotSupportedException();
}
}
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Pressing Ctrl + Shift + R refreshes intellisense no need to restart SSMS
We can’t stop here, this is bat country - Hunter S Thompson RIP
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The shortcut I've been searching for all my life... (Or at least the last few years)!
This will certainly make my productivity sky-rocket! 
And shame on me for not knowing this 
My blog[ ^]
public class SanderRossel : Lazy<Person>
{
public void DoWork()
{
throw new NotSupportedException();
}
}
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I hate it when that happens.
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How an article makes into the final voting list? (It is obvious not all get to there)
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
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The first thing is that an article must match all the voting criteria. If it doesn't, then it's not going to get in there. Assuming there are more matching articles, then it comes down to the judges decision.
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So these are hand-picked?
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
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Send money to me! 
New version: WinHeist Version 2.1.0
My goal in life is to have a psychiatric disorder named after me.
I'm currently unsupervised, I know it freaks me out too but the possibilities are endless.
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Why? You can't buy a life for that...
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
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But you can buy a twisty pretzel and a snickers!
New version: WinHeist Version 2.1.0
My goal in life is to have a psychiatric disorder named after me.
I'm currently unsupervised, I know it freaks me out too but the possibilities are endless.
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I'll snicker at you any time you like, Mike!
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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