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For every action, is there an equal and opposite malfunction?
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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For every function there is a void 
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For every action, there are two chick-flicks.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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For every chick-flick there is wife complaining that someones not romantic enough. 
"the debugger doesn't tell me anything because this code compiles just fine" - random QA comment
"Facebook is where you tell lies to your friends. Twitter is where you tell the truth to strangers." - chriselst
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For every Murphy there is an equal and opposite McMurphy.
OK now I'm just getting daffy, I'll get my coat!
New version: WinHeist Version 2.1.0
My goal in life is to have a psychiatric disorder named after me.
I'm currently unsupervised, I know it freaks me out too but the possibilities are endless.
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I think you are more like Donald.
Mongo: Mongo only pawn... in game of life.
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or Goofy.
Did you hear Mickey and Minnie are getting a divorce...he claims she's f***ing goofy.
New version: WinHeist Version 2.1.0
My goal in life is to have a psychiatric disorder named after me.
I'm currently unsupervised, I know it freaks me out too but the possibilities are endless.
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Mickey Mouse goes to a divorce attorney. The attorney asks "So, you want to divorce Minnie because you think she is crazy?" Mickey says "No, I said she is ..... Goofy"
Mongo: Mongo only pawn... in game of life.
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OriginalGriff wrote: For every action, is there an equal and opposite malfunction protest?
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For every action, there is at least one point of "possible" failure. So, yes.
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It's been 300 years OriginalGriff, and no one has proved Newton to be wrong (apart from when talking about very small mass or very fast speed; nearly equal to speed of light), ever. So for every action, every action, there is an equal and opposite force; malfunction or function what-so-ever, there is. Sometimes we call it a discovery, or a bug (reference to your last "Thought of the day").
The sh*t I complain about
It's like there ain't a cloud in the sky and it's raining out - Eminem
~! Firewall !~
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Afzaal Ahmad Zeeshan wrote: no one has proved Newton to be wrong (apart from when talking about very small mass or very fast speed; nearly equal to speed of light), ever.
Um. You sure?[^]
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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For every frying pan, is there a qualified slice of baconite waiting?
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OriginalGriff wrote: For every action, is there an equal and opposite malfunction distraction?
FIFY
| "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | | "As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error." - Weisert | | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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If the theory of a multiverse is true, then yes, by definition, it must be, in some reality.
Not in ours, since your actions proved to give a result. Had there been a malfunction, the question would not have reached us.
Now, how much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? 
Bastard Programmer from Hell 
If you can't read my code, try converting it here[^]
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Eddy Vluggen wrote: Now, how much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Now that's funny! 
Your time will come, if you let it be right.
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For every Acton there is an equal but opposite California.
(I think that's quite clever, really. Almost deserving of a CCC!)
London suburb the opposite of California
or something like that!
PooperPig - Coming Soon
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This must be another opposite version of Newton's fourth law of motion.
“When people are mad, they move faster.”
~ Newton's Fourth Law of Motion
Wonde Tadesse
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No. The malfunction is in the same direction as the action (hence they cancel each other out), an opposite malfunction would lead to greater success.
From this we can see that all action is a waste of time and should revert to that other thingy - something about remaining at rest.
Life is like a s**t sandwich; the more bread you have, the less s**t you eat.
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In 2012 I voiced some ideas about some consultancy work I wanted from a provider of software we used. This was generally considered to be a good idea.
We began a discussion with the vendor in early 2013.
In February 2014 we actually got a consultant on site to go over our setup and make some recommendations for improvements, upgrades, and so on.
We quickly decided to go with most of his recommendations.
Over the next 10 months or so the proposal was batted back and forth between various managers, project managers, accountants, and a revised amount of work was authorised.
So in February 2015 the fella is back, and we are rattling through the work, it is really good, it'll be of huge benefit to the business, we're ready to go live.
So the PM goes off to ask when we can go live, we'll be ready from this Thursday, we recommend a week's testing next week just to make sure nothing existing will be broken, we haven't changed anything but there is a product upgrade and some more stuff on top / around it.
And the PM comes back with a prospective go live date, assuming the business can get the resource to test in time.
June.
Strap yourself in and hold in tight, we move mighty quick around here.
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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Government job?
Nah, it can't be as it sounds as if you've actually got something for the money that's been spent!
How do you know so much about swallows? Well, you have to know these things when you're a king, you know.
modified 31-Aug-21 21:01pm.
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The government has no problem with spending money. The US is so far in debt that there's not enough money IN THE WORLD to pay it back - ever. And the amount of debt keeps on going up.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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I'm not sure who is dumber, the Americans that keep putting these politicians in office (I say that as an American who donates time and money as an active voter, delegate, volunteer for candidates who lose nearly every primary/convention every election)...
... or the fools who buy debt like a commodity!
Actually, to be perfectly honest, a few of the guys/gals I support have been elected, and others have become influential in other ways after the elections. Hopefully more people become involved, because that is the only way to turn things around.
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I know the feeling. 
According to my calculations, I should be able to retire about 5 years after I die.
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I feel for you. My last contract was similar - the project I was supposedly working on had been 'in the works' (a one year project) was in its 6th year. I put it down to the difference between what my boss called the 'family' vs the 'corporate' cultures in place.
Family culture works on handshakes, phone conversations, and lunch time promises.
Corporate culture works on meetings, agreed on requirements, deadlines, and status reports.
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