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Esteemed Eminences, this flea on a tick in the ear of a mangy homeless dog salutes you, and dares broach to your good Worships' cognizance an idea which may be only the basest of passing fancies compared to the transcendental mentations your Worthy Minds engage in every hour of the day and night.
We dare assume that every one of your Wisdomnesses knows "horror," in some way, or another.
On the 31, therefore, in this limnal time when the sacredness of darkness becomes ever more circadianly salient ... let those who have ears hear from those of you who have words to speak, of "horror."
Perhaps a post of five-hundred words or less ?
The shortest horror-story this pimple on the ass of literature ever wrote was two words: "The Mirror."
Prithee, join Thy imagination ... which I know defies all the common stereotypes held by the ignorant (who do not know the Joy of Code) about those who worship at Goddess Techne's shrine ... hence.
In furtherance of this humbly beseeched boon, I remain, your servant, A Flea.
«I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center» Kurt Vonnegut.
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Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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Isn't VB6 more of a horror story?
Every day, thousands of innocent plants are killed by vegetarians.
Help end the violence EAT BACON
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I'm a man of few letters.
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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18 at a push 
Every day, thousands of innocent plants are killed by vegetarians.
Help end the violence EAT BACON
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Once upon a work-day dreary, while I programmed, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious module of compiled lore--
While I sat in deep compunction, suddenly I found a function,
A dark and horrible construction, written by some foolish boor.
"Tis a temp'ry patch," I muttered, "coded by some hurried boor."
Quoth the statement: GOTO 4
(With apologies to Mr. Poe)
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"Halloween? Just weeks before it's Christmas at my parents'.", she said.
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Edward Gorey:
Each night Father fills me with dread
When he sits on the foot of my bed;
I'd not mind that he speaks
In gibbers and squeaks,
But for seventeen years he's been dead.
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
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I tried to work a telling of The Raven [^] with the line:
Quote: Quoth the Raven, "404[^]."
..but, Frankly, I have neither the wit not the energy to do the rest of the poem...
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I'm not going to win on length, but I think I've got everyone beat on the sheer terror factor:
From: The Boss
To: All Employees
Subject: New Email Server and Client Deployment
As part of this weekends maintenance cycle we'll be decommissioning the old mail
server and replacing it with a Lotus Domino server. When you sign in to your
computer on Monday morning Lotus Notes will be automatically installed.
Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, waging all things in the balance of reason?
Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful?
--Zachris Topelius
Training a telescope on one’s own belly button will only reveal lint. You like that? You go right on staring at it. I prefer looking at galaxies.
-- Sarah Hoyt
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Trouble is, it's for me, from Herself.
I've got a reasonable budget - £300 or so - but she has decided that she has no idea what to get me and told me to sort it out.
And I can't think of anything! I don't want a smartwatch - my existing one works fine, and doesn't run out of battery every time you look at it - my tablet is fine, my PC is OK - and a replacement well above that budget - my phone works, even in the house.
So what do I want her to get me? Any ideas?
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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Seriously? That's two Christmas posts you've made and it's not even the end of October yet.
You have to pay for it yourself and get it yourself? I'd kick her out.
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PompeyThree wrote: You have to pay for it yourself and get it yourself? I'd kick her out.
Well - it has advantages.
OK, so no surprises - but no socks, no jumpers, no "oh gawd I'll have to look like I use this for a year" items either.
So far, I've bought myself a tablet, a sous vide, an decent camera, ... stuff I've actually wanted and do use.
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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Amazon gift certificate?
How do we preserve the wisdom men will need,
when their violent passions are spent?
- The Lost Horizon
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You could always go for the donate to charity option - that's what I tend to do nowadays.
Wales could surely spare one of these...[^]
“That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”
― Christopher Hitchens
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A week-end for two in fashionable Luton ? Or, should that be a week-end for one ?
«I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center» Kurt Vonnegut.
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See here[^].
Software Zen: delete this;
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Telescope, vacation trip, cruise, bike, books. Worst case scenario, take the cash and accumulate it for something
BIG.
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Last I checked he lived in Wales.
Do you know how often the sky is visible there?
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A metal detector. I've always wanted one of those...
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I found a lot of beercaps, a Eurocent that is not recognizable, some screws.. It does come in handy if I want to know if there's a metal wire or pipe going through a wall 
Bastard Programmer from Hell 
If you can't read my code, try converting it here[^]
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I know at least three guys who had to resort to one to find the surveyors spike in their yards. One was hiding under a tree.
[edit] The spike, I mean... [/edit]
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Tim Deveaux wrote: [edit] The spike, I mean... [/edit]
..in the yard, make sure that the spike does not go in a straight line to your house; you don't want to dig up your own sewerage 
Bastard Programmer from Hell
If you can't read my code, try converting it here[^]
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