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So - a new coffee machine has arrived in the office.
It has a touch screen colour LCD display with animated graphics showing the progress of each step of the process of making coffee and a 30 page instruction manual.
It is significantly slower than the 2 button machine it replaced and the coffee is no different. It is also about 3 times the size so there is no room left to sit at the breakfast bar.
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From the same website in the post below[^].
As if they predicted all the problems CPians would face. Mr. Maunder's another business?
"You'd have to be a floating database guru clad in a white toga and ghandi level of sereneness to fix this goddamn clusterfuck.", BruceN[ ^]
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And it must make noises like a mortally wounded elephant. That's all part of the ongoing contest how far we can push the addicts before they protest. 
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns.
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Absolutely brilliant! 
"You'd have to be a floating database guru clad in a white toga and ghandi level of sereneness to fix this goddamn clusterfuck.", BruceN[ ^]
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Step 2: Tell the addicts that the special flavor they miss from the old machine actually came from the moldy remains of old coffee powder.
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns.
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I bought a new Keurig ( I know, blasphemy) with all the bells and whistles, and it is far worse then the first model they made year's ago. New technology is not always the best way to go. Sometimes things need to be done/consumed the way they were done 100's of years ago, if not thousands of years ago. 
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This is why I use a French Press / Cafetière for my coffee needs!
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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Yeah. I'm thinking about going back to that way of making coffee again. A little more time involved, but totally worth it.
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I love my french press, but the cleanup is a pain in the rear.
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Hmm,
OG I am guessing that me admitting to Instant Coffee is NOT going
to win me any points with you. But it is fast, easy, and there is ONLY a cup to clean.
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You can drink what you like - even Ribena!
But I find instant coffee disappointing - it just doesn't taste right. It's like having a microwave burger when you wanted Steak au Poivre because it saves on washing up...
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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So...have you got the IoT hooks figured out on it yet?
You know it has them.
"There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and statistics."
- Benjamin Disraeli
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Our coffee machine is connected to an external milk cooler unit using a plastic tube. The machine uses Bluetooth to send milk fetch requests to the dispenser.
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We had our simple filter home coffee machine replaced with a huge "industrial" coffee machine once.
We all complained and less than a week passed and it was removed and our old coffee machine was put back (as well as our simple espresso machine that only I use).
POWER TO THE PEOPLE!!!
I'd rather be phishing!
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... I think they are looking for breakfast in Alderaan places: Star Wars Death Star Toaster[^]
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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There's also a Darth Vader toaster[^] - I bet it's Sithling news for all Star Wars fans - Luke out for it in your local stores! 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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It only makes toast that's a bit too much on the Dark Side for me.
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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You don't think it's a great enlistment slogan: "Come to the Dark Side, we've got toast!"??? 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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I can't see Darth Vader having the peanut butter to put on it, frankly.
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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From the same website[^]. Happy now?
"You'd have to be a floating database guru clad in a white toga and ghandi level of sereneness to fix this goddamn clusterfuck.", BruceN[ ^]
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Shut up and take my money already!
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
-
I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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I was fine with it until the "just add vodka" bit! 
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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Quote: All you need is a bottle of generic vodka and in 36 hours you could be the toast of London.
Enough vodka will make anything generic 
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Movie Quote Of The Day
I hears your lonely heart, in all the secret whisperings of the world.
Which movie?
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