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An airplane was about to crash. There were 4 passengers on board, but only 3 parachutes. The 1st passenger said, "I am Cristiano Ronaldo, the best Football player. Real Madrid and my millions of fans need me, and I can't afford to die." So he took the 1st pack and left the plane. The 2nd passenger, Donald Trump, said, "I am the newly-elected U.S. President, and I am the smartest President in American history, so my people don't want me to die." He took the 2nd pack and jumped out of the plane. The 3rd passenger, the Pope, said to the 4th passenger, a 10 year old schoolboy, "My son, I am old and don't have many years left, you have more years ahead so I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute." The little boy said, "That's okay, Your Holiness, there's a parachute left for you.
Trump took my school bag"
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This one has been doing the rounds for a long time. You may be too young to know my son.
Peter Wasser
"The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts." - Bertrand Russell
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pwasser wrote: This one has been doing the rounds for a long time.
I strongly suspect it's the first time Trump heard it. 
Marc
Latest Article - Create a Dockerized Python Fiddle Web App
Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny
Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802
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Do you know how many presidents already made that mistake? This joke is so old that it comes with an automatic beard folding device. 
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns.
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Trump is not so stupid as you want to show, pathetic troll. And after that useless "guy with alternative skin" he REALLY DOES something. And pray that president is not a Bush Jr. - biggest illiterate clown in the White House.
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Nothing like a Public Holiday to celebrate your birthday (it was in April wasn't it!), too bad your subjects in Motherland don't get a day off for it.
Michael Martin
Australia
"I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible."
- Mr.Prakash One Fine Saturday. 24/04/2004
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I didnt need a day off ...the dryed up, sour faced munter never invited me.
Starting to wonder why I bother paying her rent.
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Michael Martin wrote: too bad your subjects in Motherland don't get a day off for it
It's politically incorrect to celebrate anything (even remotely) British in modern Britain 
Now is it bad enough that you let somebody else kick your butts without you trying to do it to each other? Now if we're all talking about the same man, and I think we are... it appears he's got a rather growing collection of our bikes.
modified 31-Aug-21 21:01pm.
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Hi All,
At Parents doing up keep jobs...you know "Oh the garage roof has a little leak", look at it and say "Oh right that I'll fix when its dry". It's dry so muggins trys to fix it with cheapest calkying gun ever made. I spent a good hour trying fix the ****** to allow me to do a three minute repair. Also the calking had set in the tube so another hour to free it up enough to use. Get hands covered & a nice shirt, use language that would shame a drunk marine. Get thing working repair done in under three minutes, pound shop, dollar store tools SEEM like a bargin but they aren't... 
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You know, ya could've just sawed the tube of caulk in half and applied it with an ice cream stick.
After that, hammer the caulking gun to a pulp, tell the old man it fell off the roof and enjoy another ice cream.
Sin tack
the any key okay
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Quote: ya could've just sawed the tube of caulk in half and applied it with an ice cream stick.
Tried that last time, not a pretty result. It needed to fit a small space between the chipboard roof, bibical mess. Calking gun and nozzle was the way to go.
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When the caulk is silicone based, use a finger dipped into soap water to smear the caulk and remove excessive material. That will make it look nice.
Learned that at the Germain Air Force when sealing UHF antennas on top of jets.
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I learnt it too but while fixing the caulking on my kitchen sink. It will never be as cool as how you learnt it!
* CALL APOGEE, SAY AARDWOLF
* GCS d--- s-/++ a- C++++ U+++ P- L- E-- W++ N++ o+ K- w+++ O? M-- V? PS+ PE- Y+ PGP t++ 5? X R++ tv-- b+ DI+++ D++ G e++>+++ h--- ++>+++ y+++* Weapons extension: ma- k++ F+2 X
* Never pay more than 20 bucks for a computer game.
* I'm a puny punmaker.
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Quote: hammer the caulking gun to a pulp
Oooh! A violent solution! I like it. 
Get me coffee and no one gets hurt!
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Yep! They always end up costing you more in fixing the damage they do than you save...
Buy good tools and they will last a lifetime. 
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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If I had any say in the matter I would have, mind you cheap tools are a way of trying something that is a bit dear (bought a cheap rotary tool for cleaning out grout between tiles, have since upgraded to a Dremel) 
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So lately I've been listening to YouTube on my phone.
I just put on some music while cooking or taking a shower when I don't have a decent setup.
On my computer I'm running uBlock (and before that adblock) so I haven't seen ads in years.
But on my phone I have them again.
FOUR MINUTE ADS!!!  
They aren't so much ads, I guess, but you do see a "skip this ad" button.
Unfortunately, it's a little hard to skip when my hands are covered with whatever I'm about to eat in ten minutes.
Who the hell comes up with these FOUR minute interruptions!?
That's about as long, or longer, than whatever song I was about to listen to.
FOUR FRIGGIN MINUTES!!!  
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Download the MVPS host file and block those servers on the system level. It is nonsense to download ads and have an adblocker refuse them after, that's just wasting bandwidth. To the website it will simply appear to be a connection-problem (ad-server is down).
I would also like to remind you that this needs to be done for each machine that you use before it can be considered a "secure machine".
Bastard Programmer from Hell 
If you can't read my code, try converting it here[^]
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They need to make adblock smarter again, too many sites detect it's in play and complain, nuisance having to delete elements from the page to get to the content (if it's worthwhile).
Waiting for an adblock that can detect/fool the adblock detectors or block the adblock blockers.
Sin tack
the any key okay
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YouTube has paid subscriptions now. They are trying to make your experience so aggravating, that you will pay the monthly subscription fee for the "Ad-free" experience.
YouTube Red - YouTube[^]
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The only problem with everyone using adblockers is one of simple economics. Everything on the internet that is "free" actually has to be paid for somewhere, and advertisers pay for much of it. Block all the ads and these companies will stop paying, with the result being that all these free services will suddenly become chargeable. As the old saying goes: "you pay your money and take your choice": pay nothing and the number of choices get fewer.
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And the only problem with that is that we pay anyway. With our time, our bandwidth and (worst of all) with a 'tax' those companies add on everything you buy from them.
'Free' stuff is an illusion, including 'free' OS upgrades. They don't do that because they are such nice people. They want to make money, which is absolutely ok. I only prefer to pay for what I want and not 'free' at all cost.
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns.
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Richard MacCutchan wrote: Everything on the internet that is "free" actually has to be paid for somewhere
Don't confuse thieves with facts.
There are two kinds of people in the world: those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.
There are only 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.
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