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I think you need more buzzwords for a pre meeting meeting.
Like Synergize. That should always be in a pre meeting meeting.
and collaborate
and a host of others but I am not good at bullshit.
To err is human to really elephant it up you need a computer
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We have to proactively collaborate in order to leverage our synergy across the multiplatform paradigm, utilizing vertical empowerment of our human resource units: this ensures our Big Data flows across all technology platforms agilely.
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
"Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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OriginalGriff wrote: We have to proactively collaborate in order to leverage our synergy across the multiplatform paradigm, utilizing vertical empowerment of our human resource units: this ensures our Big Data flows across all technology platforms agilely. in other words... give me data and let me do my frigging job?
M.D.V.
If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about?
Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you
Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.
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Well yes. And then lets do lunch.
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
"Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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Right! This calls for immediate discussion[^]!
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
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Meetings are fun, bring donuts.
If you can keep your head while those about you are losing theirs, perhaps you don't understand the situation.
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Not a good idea, Teams meeting, I'm the only person who can eat the donuts which I pay for.
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Hmmm, I have done the second, the first might be an idea...
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The managers feel shut in and bored, so they've decided to lower morale of the entire team.
Real programmers use butterflies
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I was expecting an Office Space clip...
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Despite being seriously funny, this is part of a real management training video about meetings. It is really quite good. You can't get better than Cleese to play someone who doesn't understand that they are being an idiot.
"Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana."
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Just wait until you work for a global conglomerate that has
developer all-hands meetings,
divisional all-hands meetings,
and
global all-hands meetings.
I’ve given up trying to be calm. However, I am open to feeling slightly less agitated.
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I do, I have manged not to be at them yet.
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I went to work for a large postal systems related company as a Team Lead/Senior Software Engineer. On day one the manager told me she had put my weekly meetings on my calendar already (to be helpful). When I checked, I found that all the meetings were each 1 hour long, and there were 28 of them (per week). This left me 12 hours a week to get some work done as I was expected to attend all of them! Most people arrived at least five minutes late because they were coming from other meetings - it was a large building with multiple floors.
It turned out that for 21 of them, I was sitting in for her and this had cut her meetings down to only 14 - in other words, until I came along, she had been spending 35 hours a week in meetings. No wonder all projects were behind and had huge timescales!
I only lasted six months before running away to another, lower-paid, job. She was furious as she had added two more meetings to her list in the meantime.
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
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... The QA guide to writing an AI[^]
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
"Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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... there is a big black 22" hole where a monitor used to be, and I'm out of screen real-estate before I've even started!
How the heck did I cope with a single 17" monitor? Or gawd forbid a 15" like I did back in the days?
I wish I could remember, because the replacement won't be here until sometime tomorrow!
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
"Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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That is nothing. When I was young, we had to walk 3 miles, uphill, in the snow, to get to school. Same thing, coming home.
If you can keep your head while those about you are losing theirs, perhaps you don't understand the situation.
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Only 3 miles?
We had to walk 30, each way, uphill, in the snow - and that was summertime!
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
"Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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Only 30 miles!?
We had to walk 300...
"In testa che avete, Signor di Ceprano?"
-- Rigoletto
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First liar never has a chance.
If you can keep your head while those about you are losing theirs, perhaps you don't understand the situation.
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The Proclaimers practiced on your school route!
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
"Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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Italian guys walking?
No way...
M.D.V.
If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about?
Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you
Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.
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