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Sorry, I can only give you one! 
speramus in juniperus
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You can give me two if you include the comment in the Torygraph.
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You got another one up!
speramus in juniperus
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And an up-vote from me. If everybody could vote fast enough, he'd get to a million faster than OG can count sheepses.
If there is one thing more dangerous than getting between a bear and her cubs it's getting between my wife and her chocolate.
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Count yes, f* no.
speramus in juniperus
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Post your entries below - here's mine.
Man makes model of a submarine out of a Courgette.[^]
Well to be more precise man sticks a flag in a courgette and then thinks the local news and a museum will be interested.
He is quoted as saying "‘HMS Courgette is a vegetable class submarine. Her patrol success as detailed on the Jolly Roger flag shows three attack carrots, 11 merchant peas and one anti-submarine tomato.’"
There is no news on whether his wife has left him yet, but rest assured I have remembered his face and will give him a slap if I see him out 'n about.
(Blame Elston for NNOTD return)
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Why, oh why did I ever leave Portsmouth?
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Ummm how long have you got?
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The rest of his sailor free life. 
speramus in juniperus
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That's a bit of a personal question, isn't it?
I've never had any complaints*.
* Actually, that's not true. Many's the girl who's phoned me the day after, complaining that she can't sit down -- unlike those encountered by Nagy, who phone him to confess that they're men.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
modified 11-Sep-13 8:35am.
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No, no, no!
All the girls say I make them feel like the God of Thunder, after a night with me they're Thor!
speramus in juniperus
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I've modified my footnote accordingly.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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That is not quite right, she had a lisp.
[explaining jokes always makes them better]
speramus in juniperus
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There's a girl in the CP lisp forum?!?
Unbelievable!
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Atcherley, after having a blimp on google satellite view, I'm beginning to wonder why I ever did leave Pompey.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Because you had a innate fear of sailors playing hide the sausage with your rear?
speramus in juniperus
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Some phobias stay with you for life.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Most of my family are from there, I just tell people they're from the island.
Manys a Saturday we poor kids would be rudely awoken from our slumber in the peaceful west country to be dragged by our parents to Pompey. A terrifying experience to be sure, the demarcation line of the M27 / M275 junction letting us know our fate was sealed for the day. And at the end of the M275? A drive into the nether regions of Fratton past the warm glow of it's welcoming bastion a.k.a the rudy prison.
Now I'm an ex-pat. Hmmm ...
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What's a courgette in the real world?
Michael Martin
Australia
"I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible."
- Mr.Prakash One Fine Saturday. 24/04/2004
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I know the Americans call it a Zucchini, didn't realise the rest of the world did too.
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Michael Martin wrote: What's a courgette in the real world?
A courgette! 
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
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I dunno.
Looks like a micro-marrow to me.
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Inedible.
You'd have to have been born in the weird world called France to think otherwise.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Zucchini, BTW.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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