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You have failed if you can't get the scammer to swear and threaten you. There is some Indian bloke who works for Microsoft who thinks I am really thick.
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity
RAH
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I was round at my mum's the other day when she got a call from "Microsoft". She was rather good:
"Hello Kevin, how are you? It's a shame, you sound like such a nice boy, why don't you just do something honest for living? Get yourself a proper job and one day you might not have to lie about working for Microsoft - that would be nice, wouldn't it? You might even be able to sleep at night." <long pause="" as="" "kevin"="" tries="" to="" explain="" that="" he="" really="" does="" work="" for="" microsoft=""> "Ah well, whatever you say, dear. If you want to talk about computers, you're in luck, my son's here - he writes Windows programs, I'll just pass the 'phone over to him ... Kevin? Kevin? Are you still there? Oh! He's gone!"
98.4% of statistics are made up on the spot.
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I whish my father in law had done this some months ago  
M.D.V. 
If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about?
Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you
Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.
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but... but... but... but...
... to do that I'd need to answer my phone when confronted with an unknown number instead of dumping to voice mail.
That's never going to happen again. 
Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, weighing all things in the balance of reason?
Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful?
--Zachris Topelius
Training a telescope on one’s own belly button will only reveal lint. You like that? You go right on staring at it. I prefer looking at galaxies.
-- Sarah Hoyt
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I'm waiting for the next call to show up. I'm going to start with
"Hey! I'm so glad you called. Do you have a few minutes to talk about our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ?"
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That reminds of a site I used to visit called "Fun With Telemarketers". The guy had a bunch of recordings where he would say stuff like that to telemarketers and he would try to keep them on the line as long as possible. It was really hilarious. I don't know if it's around any more.
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Microsoft’s open source Lint-based website testing tool helps secure and optimize web applications Thar she blows!
Yes, I posted this to the web developers newsletter, but I thought the rest of you might also be interested
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I've been digging into GitHub data recently, and I thought it would be fun to use that data to figure out exactly where the world's software developers live and then to visualize the results interactively using D3. You are here
All GitHub developers that is (but as we all know, they're the only ones that matter).
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My problem with it is it does correctly display basic, simple webpages on my own computer that are over twenty years old.
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Doh! 
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So, do we have that out of our system now? We're good? OK, then now to the science! FYI
And yes, I am a child.
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Professor Hubert Farnsworth: I'm sorry, Fry, but astronomers renamed Uranus in 2620 to end that stupid joke once and for all.
Fry: Oh. What's it called now?
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Urrectum. Here, let me locate it for you.
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
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Researchers have developed a new comprehensive model of workplace anxiety. It includes triggers for anxiety in the workplace and its effect on employee performance. This news makes me nervous
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I suspect this one will prove to be like the Balmer Peak - XKCD - small amounts may aid productivity, large amounts...
"If you don't fail at least 90 percent of the time, you're not aiming high enough."
Alan Kay.
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There are many situations where you need to express that something is “optional” - an object that might contain a value or not. You have several options to implement such case, but with C++17 there’s probably the most helpful way: std::optional. Reading is considered optional
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Being able to hack both the software and the hardware was a virtue for a long time. However, the world of computer programming has changed dramatically in the last decade. Someone hasn't seen the code bases I've seen lately
This is the "traditional" hacker, not crackers. They've still got job security.
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They turned off the Gibson?
Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, weighing all things in the balance of reason?
Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful?
--Zachris Topelius
Training a telescope on one’s own belly button will only reveal lint. You like that? You go right on staring at it. I prefer looking at galaxies.
-- Sarah Hoyt
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Calculations by University of Twente researchers show that Bitcoin is more vulnerable to attack than people had always assumed. Today in not entirely shocking news
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Phys.org wrote: If some Bitcoin users were to form a group that controls 20 percent of the currency's computing power
With those kind of assumptions even paper-currencies can be hacked.
Bastard Programmer from Hell 
If you can't read my code, try converting it here[^]
"If you just follow the bacon Eddy, wherever it leads you, then you won't have to think about politics." -- Some Bell.
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Microsoft is being urged to rush out a patch for a bug in Internet Explorer that's being used in attacks. Or, as it's also known as: a day of the week ending with a 'y'
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Florida police have reportedly attempted to unlock a dead man's smartphone using his fingerprint, an act that reflects an ethical dilemma for the modern age concerning biometric security for mobile devices. Dead men tell no tales (but they might give you the finger)?
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It appears that Microsoft is looking to decrease the amount of storage that Windows 10 hogs on your computer. Jack Sprat approves
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I think that somebody at MS forgot to include
#define WIN32_LEAN_AND_MEAN in a header file when they compiled Windows 10. 
if (Object.DividedByZero == true) { Universe.Implode(); }
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They can start by making Cortana uninstallable.
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