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This article isn't actually about Functional Programming at all, it's a comical put down of the FP paradigm by someone that clearly doesn't understand it.
"There are two ways of constructing a software design: One way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult." - C.A.R. Hoare
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It's pretty funny though 
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It's certainly funny. They ought to write some CP articles. A few light-hearted articles might be a good idea 
"There are two ways of constructing a software design: One way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult." - C.A.R. Hoare
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Quote: "a monad is a monoid in the category of endofunctors, what's the problem?"
Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, waging all things in the balance of reason?
Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful?
--Zachris Topelius
Training a telescope on one’s own belly button will only reveal lint. You like that? You go right on staring at it. I prefer looking at galaxies.
-- Sarah Hoyt
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Despite all these resources at our fingertips (or perhaps because of this abundance), it may not be obvious where industry trends are leading us. I'm guessing "semi-colons, braces, and parentheses" will continue to be popular.
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I'm thinking gotos and gotees are gonna make a come back!
New version: WinHeist Version Tequila, the nigh time, snuffly, sneezing, how the hell did I end up on the bathroom floor medicine.
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or just goats.
Decrease the belief in God, and you increase the numbers of those who wish to play at being God by being “society’s supervisors,” who deny the existence of divine standards, but are very serious about imposing their own standards on society.-Neal A. Maxwell
You must accept 1 of 2 basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe or we are not alone. Either way, the implications are staggering!-Wernher von Braun
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Where imperative programming relies heavily on mutable state (changing an object’s value during execution), functional programming focuses on immutable state, in which a declared object retains its value throughout the process. Functional languages, therefore, provide a massive benefit over common imperative or object-oriented languages: they are inherently designed to support parallelism and heavy concurrency.
(their italics, not mine)
What BS. The world is stateful. Yes, it's totally cool that with FP you're coerced into various inversions of imperative code to maintain stateless behavior, and it is actually cool in a crazy way, but ultimately, whatever you do, the input comes from a stateful system and the output persists to a stateful system. So what you do in the middle, sure, FP can help, but you can write immutable imperative code quite easily, and you can write stateful FP in impure FP languages just as easily.
So, "massive"? I think not.
Marc
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Massive? Propaganda hooey.
Decrease the belief in God, and you increase the numbers of those who wish to play at being God by being “society’s supervisors,” who deny the existence of divine standards, but are very serious about imposing their own standards on society.-Neal A. Maxwell
You must accept 1 of 2 basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe or we are not alone. Either way, the implications are staggering!-Wernher von Braun
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More work to do and lower salaries. Beside that it's all the same.
GCS d--- s-/++ a- C++++ U+++ P- L- E-- W++ N++ o+ K- w+++ O? M-- V? PS+ PE- Y+ PGP t++ 5? X R++ tv-- b+ DI+++ D++ G e++>+++ h--- ++>+++ y+++* Weapons extension: ma- k++ F+2 X
If you think 'goto' is evil, try writing an Assembly program without JMP. -- TNCaver
"When you have eliminated the JavaScript, whatever remains must be an empty page." -- Mike Hankey
"just eat it, eat it"."They're out to mold, better eat while you can" -- HobbyProggy
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Graduates of Udacity's Nanodegree Plus courses will get their money back if they're not gainfully employed within a year. "Extended warranty? How can I lose?"
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Kent Sharkey wrote: if they're not gainfully employed within a year
Not quite. According to the mailing I received (I'm a Udacity student), Udacity will guarantee students a job that pays at least the cost of the course, else will refund the cost of the course. That's far from being gainfully employed. 
/ravi
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Today, we are excited to share with you that we’ve just made the sources for ChakraCore available under the MIT License at the ChakraCore GitHub repository. There you go: now you can get everything aligned and in harmony
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Yes! Now, with a bit of work, we can have Edge running on Windows 7! ...but why?
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
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It's taken Microsoft quite a while to realize that can get free work, hasn't it?
Marc
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Quote: other milestones on our roadmap include submitting a pull request to Node.jsMS mainline to enable it to run with ChakraCore,
FTFY 
Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, waging all things in the balance of reason?
Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful?
--Zachris Topelius
Training a telescope on one’s own belly button will only reveal lint. You like that? You go right on staring at it. I prefer looking at galaxies.
-- Sarah Hoyt
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It was said that Windows 10 would help the ever declining PC market gain traction once again, but even though Windows 10 has been out for 5 months now, the PC market continues to decline, with the previous quarter seeing the biggest market share decline in history. You're letting the market down - get out there and buy!
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Quote: It was said
By whom?
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
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I can't find the quote, but I vaguely recall someone from the Fish Shoppe saying something along those lines as part of their "billion devices" promise.
Or it could have just been a tech reporter. They say the silliest things sometimes. 
TTFN - Kent
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WX guilty of PC market decline LOL  
Patrice
“Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.” Albert Einstein
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The absence of XAML/WPF support makes it a no-go. It's gotta do it all, or it's pointless. I'd love to move off Windows, but my WPF work keeps me tethered to it.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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Yeah, I want UWP support and import from VS.
i cri evry tiem
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Depends on what you want to import from VS - I'm pretty sure they will allow importing VS projects.
Best,
John
-- Log Wizard - a Log Viewer that is easy and fun to use!
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Reply from Matt Elis:
"ASP.NET support is already there, including loading DNX (project.json) based apps. We’ll have support for editing XAML, but no plans for a XAML designer right now"
I do get your need for WPF - personally I'm not a fan. And that's simply because the editor sucks BIG TIME. I think the one that can come with a good XAML GUI will make a lot of money 
And unfortunately, that's not gonna be me
Best,
John
-- Log Wizard - a Log Viewer that is easy and fun to use!
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