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10600 lines of PHP.
Not a single class. Just a single endless function.
Countless parameters provide the only noticable structure:
if(isset($somemeaninglessvariable))
{
}
if(isset($someothermeaninglessvariable))
{
}
The purpose of that thing: To provide the data access and something like application logic for an entire web application.
The last line:
return $result;
I don't want to know what happens if somebody would try to break this up into separate functions, not expecting the dependencies inside this little monstrosity.
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
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And yet, it works 
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That's what they all say, until one day a minor change lets the whole thing collapse.
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
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Ya, been there, done that 
I use this add on to Visual Studio, VS.PHP...comes in handy for close encounters
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CDP1802 wrote:
Enjoy the spaghetti while it lasts...nom nom...
Zen and the art of software maintenance : rm -rf *
Maths is like love : a simple idea but it can get complicated.
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1) Copy it all onto a floppy.
2) Attach plastic fangs.
3) Use as a Frisbee.
Et voilà! Your very own Flying Spaghetti Monster!
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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The FSM is a lie! All hail Jibbers Crabst[^]! 
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
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Kill it! Kill it with fire!
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
---
The metaphorical solid rear-end expulsions have impacted the metaphorical motorized bladed rotating air movement mechanism.
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Although you're talking about someones money, it would be the only rational reaction. Whatever has been invested into it should be considered wasted.
Bastard Programmer from Hell 
If you can't read my code, try converting it here[^]
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Very true, but this older application is in line to be replaced by a completely new one. First big thing in the coming year.
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
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Well... Good luck in figuring out what it currently does
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Gladly, but I actually had to revive it a second time today. Being an interpreter, PHP does not know it's dead until it stumbles over an error in the code. And then this particular work of art simply died without any error message or anything. And then go ahead and find the little typo.
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
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:cringe:
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
---
The metaphorical solid rear-end expulsions have impacted the metaphorical motorized bladed rotating air movement mechanism.
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If it works then you have a spec, better than a beer coaster. You probably don't want to know the details of how such a dev achieved a result, just reverse engineer it!
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity
RAH
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So the Snr Dev tells the boss: "These consultants are doing things all wrong. They hack 'solutions' live on customer sites, then
rewrite largely the same thing from scratch on the next site - just with a few customisations. It's horrible to maintain and impossible to support. They should be using SVN!"
Boss: "It's fine. It's the way we've always done it." 
Fast forward to the next week...
A customer support call comes in: "I have a problem with version 1.7."
So the support engineer searches SVN and finds nothing. He DOES find dlls for version 1.3, 1.4 and 1.5. But WTF where is 1.7 (or 1.6 for that matter)?
Calls back the customer: "This is terribly embarrassing but can you send me a copy of the dll."
Support Engineer goes to Snr Dev: "Hi, we don't seem to have source code for version 1.7. Can you reverse engineer this dll please?"
Snr Dev "Reverse Engineer OUR dlls!?! Arrgh, I'm gonna kill those consultants!" 
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WiganLatics wrote: consultants
I think I see your problem. 
Wrong is evil and must be defeated. - Jeff Ello
(√-sh*t) 2
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You really will get mad, when you would see what they charge for that crap. Twice or more of your salary.
Your boss is a fool - get away 
Press F1 for help or google it.
Greetings from Germany
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KarstenK wrote: boss is a fool
What new here? 
"When you don't know what you're doing it's best to do it quickly"- SoMad
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KarstenK wrote: boss is a fool
finally, someone tells the truth 
In code we trust !
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As a consultant, I find that the situation is usually the reverse, where the in-house staff have no SCM, and hack things directly on their system. My first task I usually do in those cases is to a) get everything under version control, b) set up a clean, consistent build process, c) document all of this, and d) bill for all work done.
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I'd be much obliged if you'd come and do that for our lot. 
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WiganLatics wrote: It's fine. It's the way we've always done it.
Up to a certain age he always sh*t his pants - does that make it "fine" to continue on the same route and refuse potty-training?
WiganLatics wrote: Reverse Engineer OUR dlls!?!
If they had proper obfuscation, that would be hard
Bastard Programmer from Hell 
If you can't read my code, try converting it here[^]
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I might ask him about the potty training.
Quote: If they had proper obfuscation, that would be hard
True, the key word being 'if'. 
In this case it's kinda good that they didn't have it, BUT also quite worrying in general.
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Message Removed
modified 13-Dec-14 20:44pm.
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