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Posted 1 Jun 2004

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# Justifying Norp

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We build upon the great achievements of humanity
<html> <title>Justifying porn </head> <body lang=EN-US style='tab-interval:.5in'>

Justifying norp<o:p>

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Abstract<o:p>

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We build upon the great achievements of humanity, such as the Declaration of Human Rights. We fully and strongly believe in the necessity and value of this paper. This is a quality of life issue about how to minimize norp.

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Definitions<o:p>

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Definition: Norp. Unpleasant and undesired activity usually imposed upon you by bosses, society, etc (from now on collectively called authority).

Definition: Justification. The process by which you satisfy the authority that imposed the norp onto you, regarding the execution of that norp.

Definition: Justification Efficiency. Is a rational number from 0 to 1 including, computed by the formula: <i style='mso-bidi-font-style:normal'>1 – (p * norp) / norp, where p is the percentage (expressed as a rational number from 0 to 1 including) of the assigned norp you actually executed.

Observations:

<span style='mso-list:ignore'>-         The desired justification efficiency is 1, which means 0 norp executed.

<span style='mso-list:ignore'>-         The blindest, hardest and unhappiest way of justifying is actually doing the norp. We strongly advise against that.

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Onwards in this paper, we outline some methods of achieving high justification efficiency, in a consistent and reproducible way.

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Increasing justification efficiency<o:p>

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First to arise is the question: how is any justification efficiency different from 0 possible?

The answer is that while this might seem very hard to do theoretically, it is achievable by taking advantage of the human psychology, weaknesses in the organization of the company (red tape, weak authority), etc.

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Methods of achieving high justification efficiency

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Preemptive strike. Don’t wait to be asked about your justification. Strike first. Pretend to be enraged, to have faced insurmountable obstacles in your attempt to do the norp, to be the willing one but hampered by the infrastructure or by a very annoying particular problem. <span style='mso-spacerun:yes'>

Caution: don’t do this often, it will upset the authority and make you look incompetent.

Advantages: done seldom enough, it can actually picture you as a driven, motivated worker. Also good as a last resort justification.

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It’s so hard. When the authority does not know exactly what your assigned norp implies, ask for more time and resources than necessary, and enjoy the paid vacation.

Caution: beware of an eventual collateral authority that might be able to detect your strategy. Also, do no take changes, do not underestimate the authority and do not exaggerate.

Advantages: if you find the right, easy to fool, authority, this can be a long term solution and a very efficient one.

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Who’s gonna make me do it? Is the authority weak? Is it too busy and the attention you get from it scarce? Than simply neglect your norp.

Caution: The weakness in the authority might be temporary. And don’t be too happy anyway. Where ever the authority is so weak, bankruptcy is not far.

Advantages: You really do very little norp.

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Communication brake down. This ideal when the authority will inspect some results of you norp and see some reports of some kind, but will not do a full inspection of you activity. You must exploit the fact that there usually is no bijection between the actual execution of the norp and the report you have to make. You must find out what is the minimal quantity of norp that can be done and still have a report that looks great.

Caution: think ahead and be sure that norp you don’t do now will not hunt you too much in the future.<o:p>

Advantages: one of the safest strategies.

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Look! There’s Superman! Related to Communication brake down. In order to not do the mass of norp you were assigned, find one spectacular, unexpected result, simulate enthusiasm and present that result as something important and worthy of every bit of attention. You should manage to make the rest of norp forgotten.

Advantages: It is a very good way to turn luck into <i style='mso-bidi-font-style:normal'>justification. If you’re lucky to stumble upon that result, you’ve got it made for the day.

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Come pet me. Smile, be nice, make compliments, kiss ass.

Caution: none

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What if it does not work?<o:p>

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The shrewdest of authorities will make you have justification efficiency values close to 0. Our advice is that if you can not manage a <i style='mso-bidi-font-style:normal'>justification efficiency above 0.4, resign and move on. If you have a justification efficiency of 0.6 or above, hang on to that job.

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 And this is for? Wackatronic2-Jun-04 14:46 Wackatronic 2-Jun-04 14:46
 This was a complete waste of bandwdith. Yes, I program in VB6, but only because I use it to fill my addiction to having a dry place to sleep and food to eat!
 Re: And this is for? `leppie`2-Jun-04 18:29 `leppie` 2-Jun-04 18:29
 Re: And this is for? p daddy3-Jun-04 12:57 p daddy 3-Jun-04 12:57
 Re: And this is for? S Douglas15-Aug-06 21:09 S Douglas 15-Aug-06 21:09
 Last Visit: 31-Dec-99 18:00     Last Update: 12-Aug-22 14:42 Refresh 1