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Go home and try and discuss your work in detail with them, makes for a fascinating monologue at the dinner table and it is fascinating watching their eyes glaze over. I used this as weapon to get the kids to talk to me, you talk or I will 
While they know precisely what I do thay have no idea how it is achieved.
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity
RAH
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Them: I was telling Jim at work about what you do and I gave him your contact info, he's looking for a Web Designer.
Me: Oh. Ummm. I'm not a web designer.
Them: Yeah, but you do web pages.
Me: Actually, I'm an Integrated Technology Solutions Consultant. I solve business problems by engineering custom hardware and software to automa---
Them: ---BUT I've seen you do web pages, and you did that nice site for XYZ Inc.
Me: Well, yeah, but that was part of a bigger project, I was creating an extranet to expose an e-commerce component that I integrated with their legacy back-end information system.
Them: Yeah THAT ONE, that's what I mean, you made it look really nice.
Me: Actually I outsourced the design for that project, I just assembled their---
Them: ---AND you designed that site for ABC Ltd. and it looks nice.
Me: Yeah I guess, but that project had a slim margin and I just made do with my own---
Them: ---PERFECT. I'm sure that would be fine for Jim.
Me: I'm really trying to focus on Industrial Automation. What sort of business is Jim in again?
Them: I think mousetraps..., or maybe its metal scrap...
Me: Uh huh---
Them: ---It might have been house wrap... I wasn't really paying attention.
Me: Right.
Them: He was wondering what it would cost.
Me: Well, I usually don't touch anything for under $5000--
Them: WHOA why does it cost so---
Me: --- well, there are a lot of factors to consider, is it data-driven, there's the cost of writing a proposal, I write a project plan, analyse his needs, define the scope, stakeholders, risks, define metrics for success, I need to hire a designer and a photographer, the content needs to be written and proofread, I do A/B testing and penetration tests, there's documentation to be written, and of course I have to cover the overhead of rent, my assistant, insurance, etc.
Them: No, no, he just needs something simple, can't you just whip something up?
Me: Well, projects that seem simple have a way of bloating into megaproject---
Them: BUT he said a guy from the Yellow Pages called and said they'd do one for $70/month if he bought an ad, and it would have Flash, and---
Me: Well I've seen some of those sites... umm... if that's all he needs I'd say go for---
Them: ---But then he said his nephew was good at computers and he could do it cheap.
Me: Actually that's a great way for young people who are learning to gain experience, he should take him up on---
Them: ---but he wants it to look professional.
Me: Uh huh.
[awkward silence]
Me: Hey! I heard an ad for SquareSpace on TWiT -- it actually sounded like you can make some pretty nice sites from their templates and it's only like $8 a month.
Them: Yeah, I think his business is really going to take off. It's going to be BIG. You know, you need to take these small jobs to build up a reputation---
Me: Actually I'm really well respected among my peers. Remember all those articles I wrote and how well received they were? And I've never had to look for work since I started the business, my skills are actually specialized and there is a lot of demand---
Them: ---look, if you don't want to do it just say so.
Me: I don't want to do---
Them: ---I was just trying to help, and Jim's such a nice guy and I just thought---
Me: Fine. Tell him to email me.
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99% of my development work is on classified systems of one nature or another, so I really can't discuss details of what I do. Fortunately that also means that once I leave the vault I work in, I can't do any work. So no after-hours or weekend work for me!
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So long as I bring home the check, they Don't Care what I do*
<EDIT>
Theydo remember to call me when they're PC or router is sick
</EDIT>
*KSS - or I'd be a very rich gigolo by now
| "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | | "As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error." - Weisert | | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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W∴ Balboos wrote: call me when they're PC or router is sick
Wife: "Unlike you, the computer is hung."
You'll never get very far if all you do is follow instructions.
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Ouch!
"the debugger doesn't tell me anything because this code compiles just fine" - random QA comment
"Facebook is where you tell lies to your friends. Twitter is where you tell the truth to strangers." - chriselst
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PIEBALDconsult wrote: Wife: "Unlike you, the computer is hung."
Him: "Well, did you try diddling with its extension?"
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W∴ Balboos wrote: Theydo remember to call me when they're PC or router is sick
Bingo! and I have been called 7+ time since Xmas, its like once a month from different relatives.
You can have all the tools in the world but if you don't genuinely believe in yourself, it's useless.
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some family members will probably say that I just work with computers and then others will say that I am a computer programmer.
but do they really know or understand what it is I do? probably not with any great amount of detail but I think only another developer can really know what that is.
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It's just me and techie wife.
She knows all too well.
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You can discuss inheritance with ambiguity
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Yup we are lost at social gatherings where normals go on and on about just drivel.
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The majority of my family thinks they know what I do, while only a handful of them really know. For most of them, I simply "write codes".
djj55: Nice but may have a permission problem
Pete O'Hanlon: He has my permission to run it.
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as it is that when a friend/etc with a non-zero amount of technical knowledge is able to ask meaningful followup questions to my standard dumbed down to the level of the hopeless default answers, despite not understanding a word of what I said, they get upset that I told someone else more than I told them. 
Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, waging all things in the balance of reason?
Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful?
--Zachris Topelius
Training a telescope on one’s own belly button will only reveal lint. You like that? You go right on staring at it. I prefer looking at galaxies.
-- Sarah Hoyt
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I have no idea what my work involves.
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... but they know I play Zerg. (My wife played Zerg as well, while junior sticked to Protoss).
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My fiancee calls me a transponster, she knows sometimes I make websites but that's about it she doesn't understand databases or services or APIs or any of that malarky; my parents know I 'do computers'. 
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I've been called Chandler Bing by my family many a times.
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My baby bot and 5 years old girl do not care what dad does...or even comes home or not. The two bigger are think dad plays all day long with an extremely boring game...
My wife pretends to understand the what but can't get why...
My dad and mom thinks I'm wasting my time instead of doing some decent work...
My boss do not understand a bit of my work, but keep paying me as long as the customers do not complain...
My coworkers do understand everything as long as I have no questions...
I'm not questioning your powers of observation; I'm merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a masked man who he is. (V)
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Kornfeld Eliyahu Peter wrote: My baby bot and 5 years old girl
You've not told your bot that you are the one that programmed him and he's actually a machine!?
Simon Lee Shugar (Software Developer)
www.simonshugar.co.uk
"If something goes by a false name, would it mean that thing is fake? False by nature?" By Gilbert Durandil
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Would you?
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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I am French, I work in Germany, since living near to the border.
So usually, conversations about my job go:
"- So what do you do ?"
"- I work in Germany"
"- Oh, great."
And that's it 
Seriously, this shows how little people are really interested in what you do when they ask.
~RaGE();
I think words like 'destiny' are a way of trying to find order where none exists. - Christian Graus
Entropy isn't what it used to.
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Your answer gives the clear message of being not interested on the subject. Not trying to be offensive.
I do not fear of failure. I fear of giving up out of frustration.
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Fair point, but I don't think so. I always tell it on a tone inviting to further questioning, so I think interested people really would ask. (To be honest, some do).
~RaGE();
I think words like 'destiny' are a way of trying to find order where none exists. - Christian Graus
Entropy isn't what it used to.
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Cow Computer Man
“Moo!” said the cow, “I wonder what it would be like to be a computer man”.
Jonny the cow wished that he could be a computer man, he was a black and white cow with a terrific smile. He’s tried to become one, but he always failed the test! All the other cows were normal and thought he was stupid even though Jonny thought that he had a talent. Jonny would walk around trying to copy humans, but he always turned it into a disaster! Unfortunately for the other cows the farmer gave them a punishment too when Jonny messed up.
A new year arrived and with it a new test, Jonny was impatient! Jonny got a test and studied every hour of the day and never stopped, not even for a drink. “Great” mooed Jonny after a month’s hard work, the time had come to give the test in and Jonny was at the front of the queue. The owners carefully checked his test and guess what… HE PASSED! Jonny was delighted; he walked slowly through the doors and to his new desk.
Jonny soon made a great friend whose name was Bob. “I know you’re a cow Jonny, but you’re a great friend” whispered Bob as they were working together one day. Oh how the weeks were sunny with their friendship. I don’t think they ever worked alone with each other there. They worked on their coding, testing, debugging, and all sorts together.
Unfortunately for Jonny Bob tripped over a computer wire and broke his leg so Jonny couldn’t see him for a few weeks. When Bob was feeling a little better the owners let Jonny have some time off so he could go and see him to make him feel more comforted. “Finally you’ve come” said Bob as Jonny walked into his room, “I’ve missed you so much”.
Jonny thought of what Bob liked best, and then it hit him… Dancing! Jonny started a little dance. Back and forth. Side to side. Twirl around. Lah la lah la lah. He finished with a low bow and Bob burst into laughter. “Oh you do know how to make a man laugh Jonny” chuckled Bob. Jonny blushed as he got out the present he had bought for Bob.
“Oh Jon…” before he could say any more Jonny got out a brand new, ruby red laptop! Bob nearly fell out of his bed it was so nice. There was a pause as Bob tried to think of the words to say. “Thank you.” he finally got out, “Turn it on, and let’s see what it can do”.
Jonny was so happy that every day he could go round and see his friend, then one day Bob was better. They went back to work and everyone was joyful the whole day. It was a perfectly sunny Tuesday when three boys joined the computer club. They sat at desks chattering very suspiciously. After that week Jonny found anonymous letters in his desk draw. One of these said “YOU’RE A COW AND YOU ARE STUPID. WHY ARE YOU HERE MR MOO?”.
“That can’t be from B-Bob can it?” thought Jonny. “No, it can’t be” he decided. The mystery was you couldn’t tell from the handwriting because it was printed in capital letters. Jonny cried as he showed Bob, Bob promised to help him solve the mystery. Each day Jonny found horrible letters in his desk and he started to worry about his work. One morning Bob came rushing over to Jonny, he’d worked out who was sending the letters … The new boys!
The two friends marched up to the owners and explained everything that had happened. “So you see,” exclaimed Bob “we think that boys like that should not be in our computer club”. Jonny was almost in tears listening to Bob telling the story again. One of the owners sent for the new boys, even though Bob knew that they would try to act all innocent.
“But it wasn’t us” protested one of the boys”.
“Yes it was!” Jonny angrily snapped back”.
“All right, all right boys” cried one of the owners. “Let’s just settle this somewhere private, we’ve got a lot of people trying to work here” said the other.
Bob said “It was you three, and I can prove it. You see I put a program on the computers to track what they printed out, and as you can see these letters all came from the computers you boys were logged in on”.
“Alright, it was us” admitted one of the boys, “we don’t want to be in an office with a stupid, useless cow anyway.” He turned and marched away, the other two just stood there snarling.
One of the owners started to speak “I’m sorry to say but you boys are no longer welcome in this computer club”. The remaining two boys left to find their friend.
One owner followed the boys to make sure they left and the other whispered to Jonny and Bob “How about, since it’s the end of the month, I make you two our computer men of the month as you’ve been through a lot. Yes, I think I should.”.
That afternoon they made the announcement that Jonny and Bob were ‘Computer Men of the Month’, the two friends beamed with pride and invited everyone to a party at Bob’s house to celebrate.
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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