99% of my development work is on classified systems of one nature or another, so I really can't discuss details of what I do. Fortunately that also means that once I leave the vault I work in, I can't do any work. So no after-hours or weekend work for me!
as it is that when a friend/etc with a non-zero amount of technical knowledge is able to ask meaningful followup questions to my standard dumbed down to the level of the hopeless default answers, despite not understanding a word of what I said, they get upset that I told someone else more than I told them.
Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, waging all things in the balance of reason?
Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful?
Training a telescope on one’s own belly button will only reveal lint. You like that? You go right on staring at it. I prefer looking at galaxies.
-- Sarah Hoyt
My fiancee calls me a transponster, she knows sometimes I make websites but that's about it she doesn't understand databases or services or APIs or any of that malarky; my parents know I 'do computers'.
My baby bot and 5 years old girl do not care what dad does...or even comes home or not. The two bigger are think dad plays all day long with an extremely boring game...
My wife pretends to understand the what but can't get why...
My dad and mom thinks I'm wasting my time instead of doing some decent work...
My boss do not understand a bit of my work, but keep paying me as long as the customers do not complain...
My coworkers do understand everything as long as I have no questions...
I'm not questioning your powers of observation; I'm merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a masked man who he is. (V)
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
“Moo!” said the cow, “I wonder what it would be like to be a computer man”.
Jonny the cow wished that he could be a computer man, he was a black and white cow with a terrific smile. He’s tried to become one, but he always failed the test! All the other cows were normal and thought he was stupid even though Jonny thought that he had a talent. Jonny would walk around trying to copy humans, but he always turned it into a disaster! Unfortunately for the other cows the farmer gave them a punishment too when Jonny messed up.
A new year arrived and with it a new test, Jonny was impatient! Jonny got a test and studied every hour of the day and never stopped, not even for a drink. “Great” mooed Jonny after a month’s hard work, the time had come to give the test in and Jonny was at the front of the queue. The owners carefully checked his test and guess what… HE PASSED! Jonny was delighted; he walked slowly through the doors and to his new desk.
Jonny soon made a great friend whose name was Bob. “I know you’re a cow Jonny, but you’re a great friend” whispered Bob as they were working together one day. Oh how the weeks were sunny with their friendship. I don’t think they ever worked alone with each other there. They worked on their coding, testing, debugging, and all sorts together.
Unfortunately for Jonny Bob tripped over a computer wire and broke his leg so Jonny couldn’t see him for a few weeks. When Bob was feeling a little better the owners let Jonny have some time off so he could go and see him to make him feel more comforted. “Finally you’ve come” said Bob as Jonny walked into his room, “I’ve missed you so much”.
Jonny thought of what Bob liked best, and then it hit him… Dancing! Jonny started a little dance. Back and forth. Side to side. Twirl around. Lah la lah la lah. He finished with a low bow and Bob burst into laughter. “Oh you do know how to make a man laugh Jonny” chuckled Bob. Jonny blushed as he got out the present he had bought for Bob.
“Oh Jon…” before he could say any more Jonny got out a brand new, ruby red laptop! Bob nearly fell out of his bed it was so nice. There was a pause as Bob tried to think of the words to say. “Thank you.” he finally got out, “Turn it on, and let’s see what it can do”.
Jonny was so happy that every day he could go round and see his friend, then one day Bob was better. They went back to work and everyone was joyful the whole day. It was a perfectly sunny Tuesday when three boys joined the computer club. They sat at desks chattering very suspiciously. After that week Jonny found anonymous letters in his desk draw. One of these said “YOU’RE A COW AND YOU ARE STUPID. WHY ARE YOU HERE MR MOO?”.
“That can’t be from B-Bob can it?” thought Jonny. “No, it can’t be” he decided. The mystery was you couldn’t tell from the handwriting because it was printed in capital letters. Jonny cried as he showed Bob, Bob promised to help him solve the mystery. Each day Jonny found horrible letters in his desk and he started to worry about his work. One morning Bob came rushing over to Jonny, he’d worked out who was sending the letters … The new boys!
The two friends marched up to the owners and explained everything that had happened. “So you see,” exclaimed Bob “we think that boys like that should not be in our computer club”. Jonny was almost in tears listening to Bob telling the story again. One of the owners sent for the new boys, even though Bob knew that they would try to act all innocent.
“But it wasn’t us” protested one of the boys”.
“Yes it was!” Jonny angrily snapped back”.
“All right, all right boys” cried one of the owners. “Let’s just settle this somewhere private, we’ve got a lot of people trying to work here” said the other.
Bob said “It was you three, and I can prove it. You see I put a program on the computers to track what they printed out, and as you can see these letters all came from the computers you boys were logged in on”.
“Alright, it was us” admitted one of the boys, “we don’t want to be in an office with a stupid, useless cow anyway.” He turned and marched away, the other two just stood there snarling.
One of the owners started to speak “I’m sorry to say but you boys are no longer welcome in this computer club”. The remaining two boys left to find their friend.
One owner followed the boys to make sure they left and the other whispered to Jonny and Bob “How about, since it’s the end of the month, I make you two our computer men of the month as you’ve been through a lot. Yes, I think I should.”.
That afternoon they made the announcement that Jonny and Bob were ‘Computer Men of the Month’, the two friends beamed with pride and invited everyone to a party at Bob’s house to celebrate.
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
A single-frame cartoon, full of office cubicles, a flashing neon sign with arrow pointing to a specific desk, the letters "Bob!" in the sign (also flashing), a man w/arms crossed, with a big grin, leaning against the wall (Employee badge reads "Bob"), and the cartoon caption reads:
Person> So what do you do for work?
Me> I am a software develeoper. Person> So what do you do in that role?
Me> I work on a web based platform for Pharmaceutical Review of promotional materials. Person> Um so what do you do?
Me> I make websites.....
Typically ends with "I make websites". For my family thankfully we have an informative video on the company website that describes what we do.
For a great many years I was the family / friend who fixed everyones computer.... To be honest it still happens, you see someone you've not seen in awhile and the conversation ends up going towards their computer of they want a website.... ah well.