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Yup we are lost at social gatherings where normals go on and on about just drivel.
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The majority of my family thinks they know what I do, while only a handful of them really know. For most of them, I simply "write codes".
djj55: Nice but may have a permission problem
Pete O'Hanlon: He has my permission to run it.
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as it is that when a friend/etc with a non-zero amount of technical knowledge is able to ask meaningful followup questions to my standard dumbed down to the level of the hopeless default answers, despite not understanding a word of what I said, they get upset that I told someone else more than I told them. 
Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, waging all things in the balance of reason?
Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful?
--Zachris Topelius
Training a telescope on one’s own belly button will only reveal lint. You like that? You go right on staring at it. I prefer looking at galaxies.
-- Sarah Hoyt
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I have no idea what my work involves.
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... but they know I play Zerg. (My wife played Zerg as well, while junior sticked to Protoss).
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My fiancee calls me a transponster, she knows sometimes I make websites but that's about it she doesn't understand databases or services or APIs or any of that malarky; my parents know I 'do computers'. 
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I've been called Chandler Bing by my family many a times.
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My baby bot and 5 years old girl do not care what dad does...or even comes home or not. The two bigger are think dad plays all day long with an extremely boring game...
My wife pretends to understand the what but can't get why...
My dad and mom thinks I'm wasting my time instead of doing some decent work...
My boss do not understand a bit of my work, but keep paying me as long as the customers do not complain...
My coworkers do understand everything as long as I have no questions...
I'm not questioning your powers of observation; I'm merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a masked man who he is. (V)
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Kornfeld Eliyahu Peter wrote: My baby bot and 5 years old girl
You've not told your bot that you are the one that programmed him and he's actually a machine!?
Simon Lee Shugar (Software Developer)
www.simonshugar.co.uk
"If something goes by a false name, would it mean that thing is fake? False by nature?" By Gilbert Durandil
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Would you?
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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I am French, I work in Germany, since living near to the border.
So usually, conversations about my job go:
"- So what do you do ?"
"- I work in Germany"
"- Oh, great."
And that's it 
Seriously, this shows how little people are really interested in what you do when they ask.
~RaGE();
I think words like 'destiny' are a way of trying to find order where none exists. - Christian Graus
Entropy isn't what it used to.
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Your answer gives the clear message of being not interested on the subject. Not trying to be offensive.
I do not fear of failure. I fear of giving up out of frustration.
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Fair point, but I don't think so. I always tell it on a tone inviting to further questioning, so I think interested people really would ask. (To be honest, some do).
~RaGE();
I think words like 'destiny' are a way of trying to find order where none exists. - Christian Graus
Entropy isn't what it used to.
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Cow Computer Man
“Moo!” said the cow, “I wonder what it would be like to be a computer man”.
Jonny the cow wished that he could be a computer man, he was a black and white cow with a terrific smile. He’s tried to become one, but he always failed the test! All the other cows were normal and thought he was stupid even though Jonny thought that he had a talent. Jonny would walk around trying to copy humans, but he always turned it into a disaster! Unfortunately for the other cows the farmer gave them a punishment too when Jonny messed up.
A new year arrived and with it a new test, Jonny was impatient! Jonny got a test and studied every hour of the day and never stopped, not even for a drink. “Great” mooed Jonny after a month’s hard work, the time had come to give the test in and Jonny was at the front of the queue. The owners carefully checked his test and guess what… HE PASSED! Jonny was delighted; he walked slowly through the doors and to his new desk.
Jonny soon made a great friend whose name was Bob. “I know you’re a cow Jonny, but you’re a great friend” whispered Bob as they were working together one day. Oh how the weeks were sunny with their friendship. I don’t think they ever worked alone with each other there. They worked on their coding, testing, debugging, and all sorts together.
Unfortunately for Jonny Bob tripped over a computer wire and broke his leg so Jonny couldn’t see him for a few weeks. When Bob was feeling a little better the owners let Jonny have some time off so he could go and see him to make him feel more comforted. “Finally you’ve come” said Bob as Jonny walked into his room, “I’ve missed you so much”.
Jonny thought of what Bob liked best, and then it hit him… Dancing! Jonny started a little dance. Back and forth. Side to side. Twirl around. Lah la lah la lah. He finished with a low bow and Bob burst into laughter. “Oh you do know how to make a man laugh Jonny” chuckled Bob. Jonny blushed as he got out the present he had bought for Bob.
“Oh Jon…” before he could say any more Jonny got out a brand new, ruby red laptop! Bob nearly fell out of his bed it was so nice. There was a pause as Bob tried to think of the words to say. “Thank you.” he finally got out, “Turn it on, and let’s see what it can do”.
Jonny was so happy that every day he could go round and see his friend, then one day Bob was better. They went back to work and everyone was joyful the whole day. It was a perfectly sunny Tuesday when three boys joined the computer club. They sat at desks chattering very suspiciously. After that week Jonny found anonymous letters in his desk draw. One of these said “YOU’RE A COW AND YOU ARE STUPID. WHY ARE YOU HERE MR MOO?”.
“That can’t be from B-Bob can it?” thought Jonny. “No, it can’t be” he decided. The mystery was you couldn’t tell from the handwriting because it was printed in capital letters. Jonny cried as he showed Bob, Bob promised to help him solve the mystery. Each day Jonny found horrible letters in his desk and he started to worry about his work. One morning Bob came rushing over to Jonny, he’d worked out who was sending the letters … The new boys!
The two friends marched up to the owners and explained everything that had happened. “So you see,” exclaimed Bob “we think that boys like that should not be in our computer club”. Jonny was almost in tears listening to Bob telling the story again. One of the owners sent for the new boys, even though Bob knew that they would try to act all innocent.
“But it wasn’t us” protested one of the boys”.
“Yes it was!” Jonny angrily snapped back”.
“All right, all right boys” cried one of the owners. “Let’s just settle this somewhere private, we’ve got a lot of people trying to work here” said the other.
Bob said “It was you three, and I can prove it. You see I put a program on the computers to track what they printed out, and as you can see these letters all came from the computers you boys were logged in on”.
“Alright, it was us” admitted one of the boys, “we don’t want to be in an office with a stupid, useless cow anyway.” He turned and marched away, the other two just stood there snarling.
One of the owners started to speak “I’m sorry to say but you boys are no longer welcome in this computer club”. The remaining two boys left to find their friend.
One owner followed the boys to make sure they left and the other whispered to Jonny and Bob “How about, since it’s the end of the month, I make you two our computer men of the month as you’ve been through a lot. Yes, I think I should.”.
That afternoon they made the announcement that Jonny and Bob were ‘Computer Men of the Month’, the two friends beamed with pride and invited everyone to a party at Bob’s house to celebrate.
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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The story reminds me of this:
A single-frame cartoon, full of office cubicles, a flashing neon sign with arrow pointing to a specific desk, the letters "Bob!" in the sign (also flashing), a man w/arms crossed, with a big grin, leaning against the wall (Employee badge reads "Bob"), and the cartoon caption reads:
Bob finally gets the recognition he deserves.
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Person> So what do you do for work?
Me> I am a software develeoper.
Person> So what do you do in that role?
Me> I work on a web based platform for Pharmaceutical Review of promotional materials.
Person> Um so what do you do?
Me> I make websites.....
Typically ends with "I make websites". For my family thankfully we have an informative video on the company website that describes what we do.
For a great many years I was the family / friend who fixed everyones computer.... To be honest it still happens, you see someone you've not seen in awhile and the conversation ends up going towards their computer of they want a website.... ah well.
Simon Lee Shugar (Software Developer)
www.simonshugar.co.uk
"If something goes by a false name, would it mean that thing is fake? False by nature?" By Gilbert Durandil
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Exactly! For this reason (I make websites) my girlfriend says I'm a designer 
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Mrs. Wife will ask what I did that day, and then, within a sentence, she'll change the subject.
What's weird is that I had an easier time holding peoples attention explaining Auger Spectroscopy, which has no connection to their lives, then computer programming, which does.
| "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | | "As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error." - Weisert | | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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Simon Lee Shugar wrote: Typically ends with "I make websites".
Neighborhood kid: We're learning to program in school.
Me: Good.
He: We're making websites.
Me: Ah, that's not programming.
You'll never get very far if all you do is follow instructions.
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I was round my father-in-law's (ex army) house, he has just bought a new Windows 8 laptop, he wanted all his stuff moving from his old Windows Vista laptop.
"Have you got a data transfer cable" (the person who sold him the laptop told him this was the easiest way to transfer his data).
"No"
"I thought you were supposed to be some sort of hot shot computer whiz kid"
"I do software, that's hardware"
"You're a waste of good skin"
I transfer all his stuff across the wifi link.
"You're not a complete waste of space then. Bet you couldn't shoot a man in the head from 600 yards though".
I was also round my step-father-in-law's (buys and sells scaffold*) house yesterday.
"When I click on that button you gave me for my email it takes me here instead now so I have to do this"
I drag a new, correct, favourite icon onto the browser toolbar.
"Do you want to sit down, I'll get you a cup of tea whilst you sort it all out".
And so on.
I didn't go to my dad's house, but he wants me to sort something out with his printer. To be fair though, my dad does have more of an understanding of what I do as towards the end of his career he audited software (amongst other things) for the government. But generally speaking most people seem to think that is the sort of thing my family think I get up to at work.
*As in big metal poles, not old copies of Lily the Pink
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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Father in Law - 600 yards - piece of cake 
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Mom: "So tell me, what do you do in work?"
Me: *white noise*
Mom: "Oh, I see. Do you want more cake, dear?"
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Them: So what do you do?
Me: I write software.
Them: What does that mean
Me: Well I write the software that runs on computers
Them: Ooohhh, so you 'fix' computers?
Me: ...
Me (despondent): Fine, I fix computers
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HomerTheGreat wrote: Me (despondent): Fine, I fix computers
Can you fix my computer? 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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