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Slow Eddie wrote: It is a given that 50% of all men don't understand women.
FTFY. Look what the other 50% do with their knowledge and all your questions will instantly be answered.
Slow Eddie wrote: However, I just don't get the emphasis placed on hair, makeup, clothes, and God help me, shoes, seem to be at the top of the list. Also, living space, interior and exterior, and cars.
What's so mysterious about that? Wealth and status are a man's best perfumes. If you have enough of these, it makes you as attractive to them as a pile of poo is for a housefly.
Slow Eddie wrote: I really don't get it. And when SWMBO starts to place those requirements on me the bickering starts. I always lose, since it is easier to give in.
No comment.
Slow Eddie wrote: Maybe some of you ladies in the lounge can reply and explain it to me.
Go see a drill sergeant. When you are not afraid of those guys anymore, most women are helpless against that thick hide you have by then.
I have lived with several Zen masters - all of them were cats.
His last invention was an evil Lasagna. It didn't kill anyone, and it actually tasted pretty good.
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Maybe a little history lesson will help, did you know that their original name was not women but woe-men 
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Slow Eddie wrote: and cars
That's where you lost me.
In my experience, a lot of women - even those who put a lot of emphasis on their own appearance - have little respect for their car and for them it's just a means to get from point A to point B and odds are, the inside is a pig's sty. Men, OTOH, tend to treat their cars like women treat themselves in the way you describe.
Of course, as with all generalizations, YMMV.
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So, you prefer your women to look like cave beasts?
because, I sure as hell don't!!
I am super glad that most women care how they look to others even if their maintenance can be annoying at times. I am glad my wife cares how she looks and feels.
As for me. I look like a slob around the house most of the time, but when I leave the house, I make sure my appearance complements my better half.
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not at all, and I happen to have a good one - she loves her fully paid for 2007 Sequoia LTD that I will keep running forever (looking at new vehicle prices will terrify you). But there is balance... 
Charlie Gilley
“They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” BF, 1759
Has never been more appropriate.
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If women did their partner maintenance with the same loving care and concern as they, say, brush the fur of their cats, I would welcome it.
My experience is that it rather is done with an endless streams of moans and deep sighs, and rather harsh verbal outbreaks about not having a clue, being totally ignorant, hopeless and whatever derogatory remark comes to her mind. I never heard a woman making statements when giving their cat a brush up similar to what they do when giving their male partner a brush up.
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It's wired into our DNA. Women want a man who's successful, and men want a woman who's beautiful.
The difficult we do right away...
...the impossible takes slightly longer.
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sigh - looking at shoes all over the house. Cowboy boots bought and worn twice (maybe) sitting in the closet, etc.
SWMBO works on her feet a lot, so I don't begrudge her new, good working shoes, but can't we get rid of the old ones?
Like you, a couple of years ago, I "allowed" her to buy me nice clothes. Mind you, this is before the COVID, work from home lockdown... these days working from home, I might get out of my lounge pants, but only if I need to go to the store. I now have a pair of jeans that don't fit right (but look nice), shoes that make my feet sweat (but look nice), etc. All I need is a pair of good jeans, some work shorts, work boots and trail shoes, and I'm good. Well, these days when it gets cold, I need a warm hat.
Charlie Gilley
Truth is incontrovertible. Panic may resent it. Ignorance may deride it. Malice may distort it. But there it is.
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Shower Curtain[^]
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
The metaphorical solid rear-end expulsions have impacted the metaphorical motorized bladed rotating air movement mechanism.
Do questions with multiple question marks annoy you???
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Internet Explorer? 
Bastard Programmer from Hell 
"If you just follow the bacon Eddy, wherever it leads you, then you won't have to think about politics." -- Some Bell.
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That's very clever, but does it say "Cannot find servet"?
The difficult we do right away...
...the impossible takes slightly longer.
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I see 418 I'm a Teapot has some company now.
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But geography is where it's at.
I'll get my coat, my map and my rock pet and show myself out...
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I actually liked this one.
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You're history!
Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows.
-- 6079 Smith W.
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Gneiss one!
If you can't laugh at yourself - ask me and I will do it for you.
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Okay man...
Nice one, don't take this joke for granite...
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Who is a champion!? You are a champion!
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Four of them, in two weeks. Asking me about something they bought on FaceBook, and the address shown in FaceBook messenger is mine. Wrong name and been living on that address for quite some time.
So, called the cops. They can't do much without the account name, and I can only report it, nothing more, since I'm not "a victim" of the scam..
Bastard Programmer from Hell
"If you just follow the bacon Eddy, wherever it leads you, then you won't have to think about politics." -- Some Bell.
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Hang a "No solicitors" + "Beware of dog" sign on your door.
If that doesn't work: "Trespassers will be shot and then shot again" just to make sure they know you mean business.
The idea is totally make yourself seem misanthropic and as unpleasant as possible through signage so that people leave you alone.
Real programmers use butterflies
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It's not random locals; they know that I do not like people.
They drive an hour or two based on a "sale" on FaceBook. Me nor the cat are on FB, and we lived here for ten years. So it's not someone who gave his old address by mistake.
Bastard Programmer from Hell
"If you just follow the bacon Eddy, wherever it leads you, then you won't have to think about politics." -- Some Bell.
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That's a total drag. Sorry to hear it. 
Real programmers use butterflies
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