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I didn't like the work, and the pay didn't make up for it.
But more I did it because it was stressing me out.
Sometimes I wish I could deal with stress like I used to be able to. Development, like most work, has its stressful periods.
I'm pretty fragile these days though, and it doesn't take much for what's left of my marbles to spill out of the bag and go rolling around the floor. If I see myself redlining, or being so overwhelmed I'm about to shut down, I have to step back and reevaluate my life. If not I will have a breakdown. And breakdowns can land me in a hospital.
Luckily, I have some work that I am really in love with. It's still stressful sometimes but my client is easy to work with and understands my limits. 
So much of my life these days is about eliminating baggage and self-preservation, it's amazing I have time to code at all. 
I have to be very selective, but at least I'm resourceful. I don't know how I'd pull off any of this otherwise. But thank the universe for great clients, right? The only trick is finding them..
Real programmers use butterflies
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Looks like it was one of those "Client-Servant" relations 
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Quote: So much of my life these days is about eliminating baggage and self-preservation, it's amazing I have time to code at all.
Well, what do I know? I'd have guessed that so much of your life was spent coding that you didn't have any time for eliminating baggage or self-preservation!
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Everything I've produced here I loved every minute of or I wouldn't have done it.
When I'm writing for CP you know I'm taking a break from the parts of my life that are stressful.
All of it is a labor of love.
It's actually part of my self-preservation, contributing here. It's an outlet for my writing, and an excuse to create something *I* think is cool.
It's like Aesop Rock wrote:
Now we the American working population
Hate the fact that eight hours a day
Is wasted on chasing the dream of someone that isn't us
And we may not hate our jobs
But we hate jobs in general
That don't have to do with fighting our own causes
We the American working population
Hate the nine-to-five day-in day-out
When we'd rather be supporting ourselves
By being paid to perfect the pastimes
That we have harbored based solely on the fact
That it makes us smile if it sounds dope
It's the year of the silkworm
Everything I built burned yesterday
Let's display the purpose that these stilts serve
Elevate the spreading of the silk germ
Trying to weave a web but all that I believe in is dead
Nah brother, it's the year of the jackal
Saddle up on high horse
My torch forced Polaris embarrassed
Shackle up the hassle by the dooming legend marriage
I bought some new sneakers
I just hope my legacy matches
Real programmers use butterflies
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honey the codewitch wrote: Development, like most work, has its stressful periods.
Good you have the option to drop it; as a "normal" employee, I don't have that option.
honey the codewitch wrote: I'm pretty fragile these days though, and it doesn't take much for what's left of my marbles to spill out of the bag and go rolling around the floor.
Never seen you break online. I did, regularly even.
honey the codewitch wrote: And breakdowns can land me in a hospital.
Or a police station.
honey the codewitch wrote: So much of my life these days is about eliminating baggage and self-preservation, it's amazing I have time to code at all.
Take a week off, and eliminate the baggage in bulk.
Spend the last day on code you just enjoy.
Whenever I was stressed out too much, a friend would take me out for "fun". Mostly dinner, because I don't like crowds. She'd order for three people, while we were two. Confused the heck out of the waiters. We need good times, to offset the bad days. Also, ordering wine for three people may have helped 
Bastard Programmer from Hell 
"If you just follow the bacon Eddy, wherever it leads you, then you won't have to think about politics." -- Some Bell.
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Eddy Vluggen wrote: Good you have the option to drop it; as a "normal" employee, I don't have that option.
I wouldn't really have that option either except for the fact that I am not the primary breadwinner in my household. In fact, we don't rely on my income. All of it is "found money"
Because you know what happens when it's not? I lose it. I wind up psychotic from the stress.
It's not really good. It's just one of the side effects of living whilst mad. My crazy needs to be managed or it manages me.
My shrinkers are surprised I can work it all. Not working isn't an option for me though. I can't handle doing nothing. So it's a balancing act.
But yeah, I spend a lot of downtime doing things I love doing, in between actual work. It helps me hang on to my sanity. In fact, that's what the content I produce here is about. I loved every minute of it or I wouldn't have done it.
Real programmers use butterflies
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honey the codewitch wrote: I wouldn't really have that option either except for the fact that I am not the primary breadwinner in my household. In fact, we don't rely on my income. All of it is "found money"
I was given a state-income in my teens. Never needed to work for income. It is not about money. Never was. Have worked, lots of companies.
honey the codewitch wrote: It's not really good. It's just one of the side effects of living whilst mad. My crazy needs to be managed or it manages me
Some of us need be a bit crazy.
That's my conclusion and it fits with evolution. Someone was crazy enough to smelt copper instead of hunting deer. You are that kind of person; we out hunting, you do the arcane stuff.
honey the codewitch wrote: My shrinkers are surprised I can work it all. Not working isn't an option for me though. I can't handle doing nothing. So it's a balancing act.
Doin' nothing gives too much time to think about other stuff than code. Without work, I start worrying about things I've no influence over. The work is a productive and positive distraction. And been told that I'm not allowed anymore to work "for free".
honey the codewitch wrote: But yeah, I spend a lot of downtime doing things I love doing, in between actual work. It helps me hang on to my sanity. In fact, that's what the content I produce here is about.
That makes CP more important to you than a "normal" dev; you need it as I do.
Take some time of. Spend quality time, go out for dinner. Spend time on being happy; and doesn't matter if you need the money; none can pay what you contribute here. You're teaching not just me, but of those 14 million some will learn too.
That's something that has no price. You teaching the next generation.
 
Bastard Programmer from Hell
"If you just follow the bacon Eddy, wherever it leads you, then you won't have to think about politics." -- Some Bell.
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I need to work.
Start spending more money so you will need to too.
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I do work, love. I love to work, and I work as much as I'm able. Sometimes that's a lot. Other times it's not so much at all.
Occupational hazard of being (actually) crazy - occupation becomes an iffy proposition.
Real programmers use butterflies
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It's a part of growing older. We just won't take on what we used to. The complaints seem louder and seem to come with more frequency but all in all it's us not the situation - maybe.
We've quit two of our long time clients because the thought of jumping through one more hoop for them just seems so distasteful.
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I've had to walk away from a few jobs in my life and there's probably a few more I should have walked away from. But hey they say it builds character...and I'm quite a character, or so I'm told.
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Been there: familiarity breeds contempt (on the part of client "manager" types).
I'm unmanageable because I know I know more than them.
It was only in wine that he laid down no limit for himself, but he did not allow himself to be confused by it.
― Confucian Analects: Rules of Confucius about his food
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This was more frustration at the nature of the work. I didn't realize what I was signing on for when I signed on for it, and that much I'll own as my fault - the hazard of trying something new.
The client wasn't that bad - in fact, my primary contact is almost too friendly (part of me thinks it should be illegal to be that chipper) - and I was able to work without being managed.
But it was piecework and part of it is I ended up basically losing money in terms of what my time is worth because some of the requirements for completing it were kind of ridiculous. The requirements are such because of their business model, not any particular manager.
So again, it was the nature of the work itself, rather than a people problem as such. My bad for not realizing it, but you live and learn. I thought I'd enjoy it.
Real programmers use butterflies
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When it came time to wrap things up, I told them to "pick up" their equipment; I wasn't being paid to wrap it, bag it, insure it, ship it, sign for it, etc. (remote work).
It's still sitting in my garage. It's "crown" property for the next 10 years.
It was only in wine that he laid down no limit for himself, but he did not allow himself to be confused by it.
― Confucian Analects: Rules of Confucius about his food
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I've got a client out of florida (i'm in washington state) who I'm building hardware for, which I think is funny because he's an electrical engineer turned entrepreneur and consultant in his august years.
I'm *his* tech guy. LOL. We collectively work for a 3rd party who is paying us to develop a device for them, and a corresponding app.
My client made the initial hardware. I made the next iteration of it.
Anyway, he sends me gear all the time. It's not worth shipping back. We figure it's cost of doing business.
But at the end of the day, I end up with lots of free electronics. I don't know if I'll ever use half of it though.
Real programmers use butterflies
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Just saw on the news that Holland froze over - and was thinking that anything under 10C we call freezing-cold here
"The only place where Success comes before Work is in the dictionary." Vidal Sassoon, 1928 - 2012
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Yes, the atmosphere is quite festive here, been a long time ago we had a "proper Dutch winter".
Didn't put on my skates though, I never got the hang of skating and didn't want to break any bones 
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Maybe as long ago as this[^]. Or this[^] lesser known one.
EDIT: The Scots claim to have invented curling, and the Canadians ice hockey, but clear forerunners of these can be seen in the first painting, which dates to 1565.
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During our vacation last year we wanted to visit the Atomium in Belgium to see the exhibition of works of Breughel, but sadly that vacation was cancelled due to Corona measures 
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I've seen the first one at the Kunsthistorisches Museum[^] in Vienna, which also has many of his other works, listed in that article. Around a time that produced so many tedious Madonna with Child, he gives you an idea of what life was actually like.
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As Madonna would say: "Express Yourself"
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cool...
M.D.V. 
If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about?
Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you
Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.
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is that you must understand memory offsets.
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It's no good, my memory is gone ... what was the first rule again?
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
"Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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