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At the top of my list is corporate IT groups. What a waste of oxygen. I'm probably going to lose my contract. I was less than polite.
Years ago, the *local* IT group helped me create a VM to host our bug tracking tool. The tool loves nix more than Windows, so it was bitchy getting going. But it got done. Emphasis was on a VM so we could move it anywhere. Now I've used VMware for 10+ years and for basic VMs, it's butt simple. FFS, I have 8 sitting in front of me. But corporate IT being as anal and elephanting stupid as they are (if you're in corporate IT, I'll send you a free t-shirt), would not let me give them a working VMware machine, noooo, they had to create their own hyperV machine. Cause they were a Microsoft shop. Fast forward 6 years. They decided to standardize on VMware and now need to create a project to study my request and meetings and endless bullshit to make sure they model it correctly. Meanwhile, I'm trying to keep production running and releasing code, but don't let money get in the way of process.
All I want to do is clone a VM so I can &uck with it and have a retreat path. I'm cloning a production machine. It's not rocket science. A relatively bright junior highschool student can do it. It does not take a team. All I need is one admin to rename the clone and join the network. So, they closed my ticket. And sent me a survey. I was blunt in my feedback.
Meanwhile:
- lowes has their idiot chat bot trying to help me. Impossible to get to a human let alone an intelligent one.
- my bank has an even worse chat bot that is an imbecile. I'll be going to talk to the local branch manager, it will be easier.
- someone else is on my list
Seriously, if an asteroid was coming and I wanted IT support to run a save the world modelling simulation, we're all going to die.
Charlie Gilley
“They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” BF, 1759
Has never been more appropriate.
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The Law of Conservation of Intelligence: The sum total of intelligence on the planet of is constant; the population is increasing.
EDIT: Typo
Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows.
-- 6079 Smith W.
modified 6-Jul-23 6:25am.
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?? planet of constant can not by definition have anything increasing. I am sure you will have a comeback. 
"A little time, a little trouble, your better day"
Badfinger
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Fixed typo. 
Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows.
-- 6079 Smith W.
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What a difference a letter can make!
"A little time, a little trouble, your better day"
Badfinger
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Seen a variant of that, it was something like: The intelligence of a group of people equals the dumbest in the group divided with the number of people
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I know: The most stupid animal in the nature is a group of humans, the bigger the dumber
M.D.V. 
If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about?
Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you
Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.
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definitely at work here. They did some sort of re-org over the past few years and clustered people into groups of responsibilities. Now, to complete task A, I have to open a request, group B gets it, needs to coordinate with group C, then we need a Teams meeting to discuss requirements (copy a vm, this is hard? are you serious?), the meeting ends and the groups go back under their bushes.
Two days later, the request is closed with no explanation. In the past, we had a local IT group we could have a reasonable face to face with. With Covid, the manager disappeared, he may have retired. Of the three remaining, two have retired, and the last guy is likely looking for a new job.
Charlie Gilley
“They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” BF, 1759
Has never been more appropriate.
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charlieg wrote: Two days later, the request is closed with no explanation.
That is a process problem.
You should ask that the process require that all closed tickets, regardless of source, must provide sufficient detail. Note that 'closed' means success, failure or will not be implemented.
Then 5 years from now when it attempted again someone can find that original ticket and see what happened with it.
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Well, apparently the survey with all 1's got somebody's attention, and I received a call from a relatively senior manager. He took the time to explain the overall situation across the corporation, apologizing for the terse closure notes on the ticket.
The discussion was honest and product, and in the end I apologized for losing my temper. The biggest problem with the corporate IT group is that the never share any information (based on his description of how much work they had to do, they are sorely understaffed).
The fail on my part was that I got frustrated and forgot the basic rule of people at work - most really want to do a good job.
Now, as for the chat bot at the bank.... Jamie must die.  . Jamie is the name of the help agent - computer - not a live person (in case the fbi reads this)
Charlie Gilley
“They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” BF, 1759
Has never been more appropriate.
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I've always figured intelligence is akin to resistance. Therefore the intelligence of a group is Ohm's Law for resisters in parallel.
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Lemme guess, ISO-9000 compliance is a bullet point on the company's checklist...?
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To be fair though, the business isn't all that bad. There are some very good people on that side of the fence, but they are generally about as technical as a turnip. Which means, it's up to the tech side to speak up with issues that are tech related.
Of course, there are some arse-wipes on that side too. Same goes for devs though. 
Jeremy Falcon
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every company I've worked for has championed ISO-9000 for no discernible reason . If I had to comment on some management directions that have come and gone, I can live with ISO9000. One task was that every desk had to have a common work organization. Out came the tape and label maker for keyboard, stapler, phone, etc.
Charlie Gilley
“They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” BF, 1759
Has never been more appropriate.
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As a business owner myself, I get hammered by slick marketing companies trying to tell me "I Need ISO9000 Certification"
Drives me $£%£^$ bonkers.
I'm literally a "one man band", I hire contractors from time to time when I need them, I've been doing I.T. now for about 40 years, and it's the same approach over and over and over again...
"Oh look there's a stupid CEO with no tech skills, lets tell him what tech stuff he needs (That we will supply) to stay alive in this world"
As for the corp IT team, yea I feel the pain. If you think it's bad looking from the outside in, you wanna try being on the inside.
I've done both positions in my career, inside most of these teams how anything gets done most of the time is beyond me.
I was a junior lacky on one team, not much responsibility, simple jobs like checking tickets etc. I was hired, sent on a "Prince 2", "Cobit" and various other "Process Management" courses, I was away from the actual job with all of these for about 2 months, then when I came back, my position was terminated a month later because I was surplus to requirements.
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The weirdest part about iso-9000 is that all you need to know to pass is where is your doc? You don't have to follow it....
A few years ago, the auditors decided they wanted to talk to the s/w people. They were amazed and excited that we have version control. 
I guess when I retire, I'll study where it came from
Charlie Gilley
“They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” BF, 1759
Has never been more appropriate.
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My theory is "I.T. support teams" are what "Software Development teams" WILL BECOME if we ever stop pushing back against management and their stupid practices
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charlieg wrote: every company I've worked for has championed ISO-9000 for no discernible reason
Company I worked for did that because they did contracts and the companies would ask for certifications as part of agreeing to the contract.
At another company PCI certification was required. And any company that knew what they were doing when they signed up required that certification from that company.
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If you think humans are clueless now... just wait another 100 years when more generations that have to do even less with their minds pop out. Thinking, like horseback riding, will be reserved for the few.
Jeremy Falcon
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Your message reminds me the "Wall-E" film. The humans in the spaceship
M.D.V.
If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about?
Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you
Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.
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Thinking, like horseback riding, will be reserved for the few.
100 years? It's already happened. We British go horse riding. To quote Michael McIntyre, only Americans need it spelling out which part of the horse they're supposed to sit on.
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Well, there is that statue of King Wenceslas riding a dead horse upside down, so perhaps the Czech's need it spelled out also. :P
FWIW, here in Texas, it's simply called "riding" (with horses being the default beast of burden, followed by motorcycles).
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ACRowland wrote: only Americans need it spelling out which part of the horse they're supposed to sit on.
Yeah well... arrogance isn't not the trait of the intelligent either.
Jeremy Falcon
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Yup.....
Even mike judge said it...
"I never expected my film to become reality"
Idiocracy
Idiocracy - Wikipedia
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