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A balding, white haired man walked into a jewelry store this past Friday evening with a beautiful much younger gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring.
The man said, "No, I'd like to see something more special."
At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. "Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000" the jeweler said.
The lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement.
The old man seeing this said, "We'll take it."
The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the man stated,
"By check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds. I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon."
On Monday morning, the jeweler angrily phoned the old man and said "Sir... there's no money in that account."
"I know," said the old man... "But let me tell you about my weekend."
There is only one Vera Farmiga and Salma Hayek is her prophet!
Advertise here – minimum three posts per day are guaranteed.
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I find it interesting that none of the amounts have changed over time...
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That's the beauty of copy'n'paste! 
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
"Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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You show your great cleverness again! I am just sooooo impressed by you!
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See the joke is that good!
There is only one Vera Farmiga and Salma Hayek is her prophet!
Advertise here – minimum three posts per day are guaranteed.
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most of our conversations seem to revolve around medical terms, as I remarked to my wife the other day, but she couldn't make out my words over her tinnitus, and thanks to my hypophonia, I couldn't make her hear me...
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Well, talking to my wife often causes me orchitis 
Just a joke, I love my wife... and she's definitely not behind me with a blunt object.
GCS/GE d--(d) s-/+ a C+++ U+++ P-- L+@ E-- W+++ N+ o+ K- w+++ O? M-- V? PS+ PE Y+ PGP t+ 5? X R+++ tv-- b+(+++) DI+++ D++ G e++ h--- r+++ y+++* Weapons extension: ma- k++ F+2 X
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den2k88 wrote: talking to my wife often causes me orchitis
Well, there is your mistake!
We're not supposed to talk - our job is to listen. 
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
"Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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OriginalGriff wrote: our job is to listen obey
FTFY
"Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." ― Albert Einstein
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In the Christian marriage ceremony, it used to be the wives who vowed to "Love, honour, and obey" their husbands. 
Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows.
-- 6079 Smith W.
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And you tell this me NOW!!!
"Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." ― Albert Einstein
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Husbands like to think they are in charge, and their wives sensibly allow them to think that whilst doing what they are told:
"I'm in charge here, and I have my wife's permission to say so!"
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Proving that farce is the oldest form of humor.
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Hi, fyi there are ancient and modern fish who climbed/climb trees.[^]
«The mind is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be kindled» Plutarch
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Listen - JUST listen... if my bride is describing a problem I realize she is not asking me to offer a solution.
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This is true
Paul Sanders.
If I had more time, I would have written a shorter letter - Blaise Pascal.
Some of my best work is in the undo buffer.
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'If I have to... I guess.'
from Man's Prayer - Red Green
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our job is to listen
... whether we like it or not! 😸
Paul Sanders.
If I had more time, I would have written a shorter letter - Blaise Pascal.
Some of my best work is in the undo buffer.
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That's hysterical. And, as you say, there's a lot of truth in it x
Paul Sanders.
If I had more time, I would have written a shorter letter - Blaise Pascal.
Some of my best work is in the undo buffer.
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And I'm an abject failure at that!
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..I find myself saying 'I don't give a ![Sunshine | [little ray of sunshine]](https://www.codeproject.com/script/Forums/Images/sunshine.gif) ' more and more.
"the debugger doesn't tell me anything because this code compiles just fine" - random QA comment
"Facebook is where you tell lies to your friends. Twitter is where you tell the truth to strangers." - chriselst
"I don't drink any more... then again, I don't drink any less." - Mike Mullikins uncle
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 me to
Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “Wow! What a Ride!" - Hunter S Thompson - RIP
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multiple thumbs up.
Charlie Gilley
“They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” BF, 1759
Has never been more appropriate.
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