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An optimist believes we live in the best of all worlds.
A pessimist believed we live in the best of all worlds.
Not sure who I stole this one from.
"Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana."
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Alternate second line: Yes, I'm afraid so.
Another optimist/pessimist:
Optimist: The bottle is still half full.
Pessimist: It is half empty already.
Optimist: Yes, but I am half full, too!
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Quote: Optimist: The bottle is still half full.
Pessimist: It is half empty already.
The engineer asks “Are we filling it or emptying it?”
If you can't laugh at yourself - ask me and I will do it for you.
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The quantum computerist answers: Yes.
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If you put a quantum computer into a cage, will you then know if it has produced an answer?
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Only if the cat dies...
If you can't laugh at yourself - ask me and I will do it for you.
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YES. THIS
That's been the gist of my reply to this question for about 30 years now.
It never ceases to amuse me how bent out of shape some people get if you refuse to answer until they do.
Seems to shut them up though when you talk about being precisely at the mid-point between work and home.
At that stage, the question I've asked stops seeming so trivial 
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Matthew Dennis wrote: Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
These flying bananas you refer to ... I have heard about people throwing rotten tomatoes at people they don't like, but get a similar effect from flinging bananas at them, I guess would require really rotten bananas.
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The pessimist: “It cannot get worse than this”.
The optimist: “Yes, it can”.
Mircea
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When it can't possibly get any worse, even the pessimist fails.
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An optimist invented the airplane.
A pessimist invented the parachute.
>64
Some days the dragon wins. Suck it up.
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Nice. 
Software Zen: delete this;
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Matthew Dennis wrote: An optimist believes we live in the best of all worlds.
If this is the best of all worlds that's plenty of reason to become a pessimist 
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An optimist believes that we live in the best of all possible worlds. A pessimist fears that this is true. 
Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows.
-- 6079 Smith W.
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Daniel Pfeffer wrote: Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows.
That is not the real issue. The question is whether you can get away with stating that two plus two make five.
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A literalist takes things literally.
A kleptomaniac takes things, literally.
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Therefore, the difference is a comma.
"They have a consciousness, they have a life, they have a soul! Damn you! Let the rabbits wear glasses! Save our brothers! Can I get an amen?"
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Let's eat children vs let's eat, children.
Punctuation saves lives!
Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows.
-- 6079 Smith W.
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Wordle 294 3/6
🟩⬜🟨🟨⬜
🟩🟩🟨🟩⬜
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
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Wordle 294 2/6*
🟩🟩🟩🟨⬜
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
Lucky guess for the first word 
Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have. -Anon
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Wordle 294 4/6
🟨⬜🟨⬜⬜
⬜🟨🟩🟩⬜
⬜🟨🟨⬜🟩
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
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Woo Hoo Two!
Wordle 294 2/6
🟨🟨🟨🟨⬜
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
"Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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Wordle 294 4/6
🟨🟨🟨⬜⬜
⬜⬜🟨🟨⬜
🟩🟨🟨🟨🟩
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
My regular starter words hit all 5. Then I came unstrung. 
Software rusts. Simon Stephenson, ca 1994. So does this signature. me, 2012
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Wordle 294 4/6
🟨🟨⬜🟨⬜
🟩🟩⬜🟨⬜
🟩🟩🟨🟩⬜
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
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Wordle 294 1/6
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
"Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “Wow! What a Ride!" - Hunter S Thompson - RIP
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