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Has the government has announced a ban on social distancing jokes in an effort to contain their spread?
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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Physical distancing yardstick;
If you hear a fart, spread apart.
I'm hiding from exercise...I'm in the fitness protection program.
JaxCoder.com
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This doesn't work... I can hear my neighbor farts through the wall... 
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Impressive. 
I'm hiding from exercise...I'm in the fitness protection program.
JaxCoder.com
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His neighbour... Le Pétomane[^]
Software rusts. Simon Stephenson, ca 1994. So does this signature. me, 2012
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The Lone Ranger's mask covered his eyes not his mouth. Those belonged to the villain of the week.
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MarkTJohnson wrote: The Lone Ranger's mask covered his eyes not his mouth.
Damn, my parent lied to me!
I'm hiding from exercise...I'm in the fitness protection program.
JaxCoder.com
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No, you are old and your memory is faulty. Actually, since it was radio you couldn't see the mask.
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MarkTJohnson wrote: No, you are old and your memory is faulty.
That's a bit harsh. Some might say that he'd reached a fine degree of maturity.
Um... I don't actually know anyone who would say that, but we have to admit that the possibility exists.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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There are adequately nerdy ways[^] to do that.
I have lived with several Zen masters - all of them were cats.
His last invention was an evil Lasagna. It didn't kill anyone, and it actually tasted pretty good.
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Mike Hankey wrote: Why we need #Masks4All, and how to make your own mask - YouTube[^]
Jeeze!
Seven and a half minutes of jabber, jabber, jabber before he actually gets to the point! (And at that point, I gave up, so I don't know haw good or bad the instructional content is -- but seeing that there was five minutes left, just to chop up a few bits of cloth, I decided not to keep watching).
If he showed me that as an example of a training video, I wouldn't have second thoughts about not offering him a second interview.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Yeah I agree he does take a long time to get to the point.
The actual making only takes maybe 2 mins. But we made one for us since they are so scarce.
We were out of continental US for 3 weeks and when we got back everything was gone, the hoarders didn't leave a lot. Luckily we had normal supplies before we left and they'll last for some time.
I'm hiding from exercise...I'm in the fitness protection program.
JaxCoder.com
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I've still got more than two boxes of PP3 masks that I bought a few years ago on special (I bought five boxes; I do a lot of sanding and spraying).
I was thinking of selling them and retiring to Bermuda, but I've got blue skin, so I can't take too much sunshine.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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I've got a 48 pack of TP will trade for Audi. 
I'm hiding from exercise...I'm in the fitness protection program.
JaxCoder.com
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"Escape to the Country" has been redeveloped as "Escape to the Bathroom" and "Match of the Day" is to become "Matchbox of the Day", dealing exclusively with toy cars.
"Alien: Isolation" is in the process of being bought from SciFi by the Beeb for broadcast soon.
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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so when does the football get officially replaced by "setting fire to your farts"
(it's not as if they don't do it during the season but now it's the only thing they got left.)
pestilence [ pes-tl-uh ns ] noun
1. a deadly or virulent epidemic disease. especially bubonic plague.
2. something that is considered harmful, destructive, or evil.
Synonyms: pest, plague, people
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OriginalGriff wrote: "Escape to the Country" has been redeveloped as "Escape to the Bathroom" and "Match of the Day" is to become "Matchbox of the Day", dealing exclusively with toy cars.
This will make a huge difference to my lifestyle.OriginalGriff wrote: "Alien: Isolation"
Why do they need to isolate them, given that walls work perfectly?
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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The big problem is: In order to have death penalty you need a trial, and I suppose that the people that actually should sit in the accused chairs won't ever see the inside of the court.
M.D.V. 
If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about?
Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you
Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.
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Nelek wrote: I suppose that the people that actually should sit in the accused chairs won't ever see the inside of the court.
There are times that I regret that civilised societies have gotten rid of judge Lynch. 
Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows.
-- 6079 Smith W.
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Great, so now the Internet will be completely fruggin' useless except in the middle of the night, US time.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Mark_Wallace wrote: he Internet will be completely fruggin' useless
as opposed to "mostly useless" - aka fake news and 'social' media
pestilence [ pes-tl-uh ns ] noun
1. a deadly or virulent epidemic disease. especially bubonic plague.
2. something that is considered harmful, destructive, or evil.
Synonyms: pest, plague, people
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