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I was in a job interview. The manager handed me his laptop and said, "I want you to try and sell this to me."
I put it under my arm, left the building, and went home. Eventually, he called my mobile and said, "Bring it back here right now!"
I said, "$100 and it's yours.
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"This pen... is a laptop!"
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Did you get the job, or the laptop, or both?
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A young Programmer and his Project Manager board a train headed through the mountains on its way to Wichita. They can find no place to sit except for two seats right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother.
After a while, it is obvious that the young woman and the young programmer are interested in each other, because they are giving each other looks. Soon the train passes into a tunnel and it is pitch black. There is a sound of a kiss followed by the sound of a slap.
When the train emerges from the tunnel, the four sit there without saying a word.
The grandmother is thinking to herself, “It was very brash for that young man to kiss my granddaughter, but I’m glad she slapped him.”
The Project manager is sitting there thinking, “I didn’t know the young tech was brave enough to kiss the girl, but I sure wish she hadn’t missed him when she slapped me!”
The young woman was sitting and thinking, “I’m glad the guy kissed me, but I wish my grandmother had not slapped him!”
The young programmer sat there with a satisfied smile on his face. He thought to himself, “Life is good. How often does a guy have the chance to kiss a beautiful girl and slap his Project Manager all at the same time!”
Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows.
-- 6079 Smith W.
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Daniel Pfeffer wrote: I first heard that joke in the previous millennium!
The irony. 
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One ancient joke deserves another!
Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows.
-- 6079 Smith W.
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The original, or rather the first version I've heard, had an Englishman, a Frenchman and a nun instead.
Which reminds me:
Two nuns were walking down the street in the evening when they encountered a flasher.
One nun had a stroke.
The other couldn't reach.
Sorry, I'll get my coat.
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Your coat appears to be missing. I think one of the nuns borrowed it.
"They have a consciousness, they have a life, they have a soul! Damn you! Let the rabbits wear glasses! Save our brothers! Can I get an amen?"
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It was new to me.
I figured it might be somewhat recent, since, in my programmer's mind, as I was reading it, I was trying to work out exactly who did what...
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 good one - like an "Agatha Christie" train story
"A little time, a little trouble, your better day"
Badfinger
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The database of the future will require two DBAs: a person and a dog.
The person will be needed to feed the dog.
The dog will be needed to keep the person from messing with the database.
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I first heard that joke in the previous millennium!
Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows.
-- 6079 Smith W.
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Doesn't it appear in Act II, Scene 1 of "Two Gentlemen of Verona"? 
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That could well be, this is what I read in Wikipedia:
Quote: The highlight of the play is considered by some to be Launce, the clownish servant of Proteus, and his dog Crab
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I came across it in my notes, no idea where it came from ...
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I think the original version was something like, "In airliners they will only need one pilot and a dog. The pilot is there to turn on the autopilot, and the dog is there to bite the pilot if he touches anything."
The difficult we do right away...
...the impossible takes slightly longer.
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A DBA and a cat -- the cat is used to generate unique IDs.
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Ah, I thought the cat was for cataloguing ...
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catenate data
"A little time, a little trouble, your better day"
Badfinger
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There's a trailer, at last: Clarkson's Farm Season 3 | Official Trailer | Prime Video - YouTube[^] - and it's genuinely funny.
If you don't have Prime then Clarkson's Farm is a pretty good reason to get one! 
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
"Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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Wordle 1,035 4/6*
🟨⬛⬛⬛🟩
🟨⬛🟨🟨🟩
⬛🟩🟨🟩🟩
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
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Wordle 1,035 3/6
🟨⬜🟩🟨⬜
⬜🟩🟩🟨🟩
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
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Wordle 1,035 1/6
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
But I guess its bound to happen eventually. Need a new starting word now
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Me too! I blame Griff for that one.
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
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