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My programmer's oath:
- I will work not work with Ruby or other duck-typed, runtime-typed, or "script kiddie" languages.
- I will not work with people that work with #1
- I will code when my brain feels like coding, I will not code on YOUR timeframe
- I will not work in a cubicle.
- I will not put up with sh*tty equipment and stupid management decisions
- I will write code that is maintainable, extensible, commented, and documented, no matter what management says.
- I will spend time testing my code, but YOU damn well better have a people, resources, and the commitment to test my code independent of me.
- I will write code using my own well thought out architecture, not some fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants Agile methodology bullshit.
- I will not waste my valuable time learning some half-ass open source latest rage just because every other idiot says it's the latest rage.
- I will always have time to work on my own stuff because frankly, it's usually more interesting than the crap project I'm working on that actually pays the bills.
So yeah, there you go.
Marc
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 I like yours better than his, except maybe the first one. My life is JavaScript these days.
TTFN - Kent
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Kent Sharkey wrote: My life is JavaScript these days.
Javascript is the exception because you just have to code in it to do web stuff. But actually choosing to use Ruby, Python, or PHP? Ugh. However, choosing to use Javascript with node.js is another WTF for me.
To the tune in Rocky Horror...I'm just a sweet anachronistic anarchist. 
Marc
modified 19-Nov-15 13:58pm.
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Yowza, what you said, Brother !
«I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center» Kurt Vonnegut.
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Damn I finished the space in the signature. I'll have to put this in my bio.
GCS d--- s-/++ a- C++++ U+++ P- L- E-- W++ N++ o+ K- w+++ O? M-- V? PS+ PE- Y+ PGP t++ 5? X R++ tv-- b+ DI+++ D++ G e++>+++ h--- ++>+++ y+++* Weapons extension: ma- k++ F+2 X
If you think 'goto' is evil, try writing an Assembly program without JMP. -- TNCaver
"When you have eliminated the JavaScript, whatever remains must be an empty page." -- Mike Hankey
"just eat it, eat it"."They're out to mold, better eat while you can" -- HobbyProggy
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I will not use if - else statements to make my code work differently in test and production modes.
modified 18-Nov-15 22:42pm.
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Doesn't that also prohibit using mock objects in testing?
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No, does not prohibit that.
Should have added: '... and thereby be the cause for penalties worth billions of Euros'. Because, the ultimate blame for this recent emission test fiasco fell on a couple of 'software engineers', aka programmers.
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Avijnata wrote: this recent emission test fiasco fell on a couple of 'software engineers', aka programmers.
Logical, they not have the $$$ of the managers to buy allibies 
M.D.V.
If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about?
Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you
Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.
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Well, I vote for Marc's version of the oath(s).
But, if I had to add one additional "commandment" to the impossible-to-attain-ideals set forth in the linked-to article:
10. I vow to do whatever it takes to make sure I am fully compensated, my person and intellectual property rights are treated with respect, and that I am paid on time.
«I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center» Kurt Vonnegut.
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Is a good software architect like an octopus, forcing its tentacles into everyone’s code? How can the architect be an authority in all technologies used by a system? We discuss the age-old problem of broad vs. focused knowledge with three veteran software architects. Enough to not cause trouble? (at least)
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Windows Phone is becoming an increasingly unattractive proposition in the eyes of smartphone buyers. The tiled operating system dropped to 1.7 percent market share in the third quarter of the year, thanks to extremely weak sales of Lumia devices. "I'm gonna free fall out into nothin'. Gonna leave this world for a while"
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You could quote "Zombie Zoo", from the same album 
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Kent Sharkey wrote: "I'm gonna free fall out into nothin'. Gonna leave this world for a while"
Are you Tom Petty or Kim Basinger?
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They forgot the chute ?
Patrice
“Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.” Albert Einstein
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There’s a lot to love about Google and Microsoft working together That... explains so much
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Hey I do not have problems with love between entities, they could love each other until the end of times... but why if they love each other the ones that end up bu**ered are us?
GCS d--- s-/++ a- C++++ U+++ P- L- E-- W++ N++ o+ K- w+++ O? M-- V? PS+ PE- Y+ PGP t++ 5? X R++ tv-- b+ DI+++ D++ G e++>+++ h--- ++>+++ y+++* Weapons extension: ma- k++ F+2 X
If you think 'goto' is evil, try writing an Assembly program without JMP. -- TNCaver
"When you have eliminated the JavaScript, whatever remains must be an empty page." -- Mike Hankey
"just eat it, eat it"."They're out to mold, better eat while you can" -- HobbyProggy
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The only way I see that being plausible is by a definition that is broad enough that I also share the same Soul as Bill, Larry, and Serge; and I traded mine for an icecream cone when I was eight. 
Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, waging all things in the balance of reason?
Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful?
--Zachris Topelius
Training a telescope on one’s own belly button will only reveal lint. You like that? You go right on staring at it. I prefer looking at galaxies.
-- Sarah Hoyt
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Microsoft today announced the availability of Visual Studio Dev Essentials, a new, free program designed to provide any developer with everything they need to create applications on any device or operating system. Everything you want (plus Azure) - for free!
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Where have I heard this before; Here try this you'll like it and the first one's free!
God damn the pusher man!
New version: WinHeist Version You didn't fall from the stupid tree you got dragged through the whole dumbass forest.
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THERE’S ANOTHER WEB out there, a better web hiding just below the surface of the one we surf from our phones and tablets and laptops every day. A web with no ads, no endlessly scrolling pages, and no annoying modal windows begging you to share the site on social media or sign up for a newsletter. "So tonight I'm gonna party like it's 1999"
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Wired is really scraping for article material, eh?
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