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A professor of Computer Science -- a world-renowned expert on PL/I -- once wrote the following:
if ((i != 1) || (i != 2))
...
else
...
(Yes, the above is in C. I can't remember the PL/I syntax.)
He spent most of a day trying to figure out why the "else" branch was never executed. A graduate programming assistant had to point it out to him.
(This message is programming <i>you</i> in ways you cannot detect. Be afraid.)
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if (my $thisScriptHasBecomeSkynet) {
die;
}
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When I first saw this comment, I thought it was ridiculous, but now I see a lot of beauty in the f actuality and irony of it. Here it is:
// Note that there are 1024 milliseconds in a second
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You mean aside from this[^]?
At one place I worked, we were under deadline and a coworker was going to take some time off. He said his part of the project was done and tested. He gave me a copy to integrate into my code and went on vacation.
I installed it and it promptly fell on its face. Looking through the code, it was a complete mess. I ended up taking a hatchet to it, but one routine caught my eye.
It was supposed to center some text on a line. Instead of taking the length of the line, subtracting the length of the string, then dividing by two to get the number of spaces to print before the string, he instead created a string of spaces for the length of the line, overlaid the string at the beginning, and then iteratively added spaces at the beginning and removed spaces at the end until they were equal or the leading spaces was longer than the trailing spaces.
It was the only routine that worked and I left it in place to illustrate the type of code I had to deal with.
I still tried to cover for him, but since rewriting his code impacted the development of my code, when the manager came by breathing fire because I was falling behind, I had to show his work to her. When he came by after his vacation I showed him my changes, he said, "Yes, that's my code." I snarled internally that this bozo couldn't even recognize his code and how I had changed it (chopped 1/3 or more of it out) and then I advised him to take a tube of KY Jelly with him to his meeting with our supervisor because I knew she was going to ream him out.
Psychosis at 10
Film at 11
Those who do not remember the past, are doomed to repeat it.
Those who do not remember the past, cannot build upon it.
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It wasn't funny at the time, but any VB.Net code that looked like this is hilarious in retrospect:
try
catch
end try
Or even worse:
On Error Resume Next
The developer's excuse? "My code doesn't crash!" Yeah. It also didn't work.
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That's downright scary. I insist that people use C# so they don't get into bad habits like that.
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Hahaha, level: advanced, and spent all day on it. So many levels of humor in that article...mind blown.
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in FORTH:
Begin ...
if
( swap )
...
until
then
The parentheses allow you to leave the compiler, so the swap changes the addresses on the stack so the straddled begin and if statements worked.
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I'm brazilian and english (well, human languages in general) aren't my best skill, so, sorry by my english. (if you want we can speak in C# or VB.Net =p)
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This is going back many years, and from memory it went something like this:
- (bool)is_even(int value)
{
if (value == 0)
{
return true;
}
else if (value == 2)
{
return true;
}
else if (value == 4)
{
return true;
}
...
else if (value == 12)
{
return true;
}
return false;
}
And so it went to 12 and I guess for the context in which it was used it apparently was a high enough number. You could of course replace this method using a simple modulus operation.
What's also funny is that I saw this code in a printout on the wall of an engineer, which had been there for a couple years. A short time after, another engineer, new to the group, found this method still existing in another part of the code base (apparently just copy-pasted from its original location). The code base was very large.
Lesson learned is if you find bad code somewhere do a global search to insure it is not duplicated anywhere else.
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Haha I am sure i have read this in a book or programming tutorial as an example for bad code.
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private bool IsEven(int number) {
return (new[] { 0, 2, 4, 6, 8 }).Contains(number.ToString()[number.ToString().Length - 1]);
}
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this following jQuery nugget:
if ( $('#'+src.id).parent().parent().next().children().children('.dvSpeakerBio').is(":visible") )
{
$('#'+src.id).parent().parent().next().hide();
$('#'+src.id).parent().parent().next().children().children('.dvSpeakerBio').hide();
$('.speaker').removeClass('selectedSpeaker');
$('.alt_speaker').css('background-color', '#f6f6f6');
}
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For me, it was a WinForms app written in VB.NET that was using hidden Textbox controls on the form as a Boolean variable!!! The whole app was full with checks for true/false against a Textbox.Text property instead of simply declaring a boolean variable.
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 That one just is.... blech. Was this... programmer (I use the term loosely here)... a new guy? Or someone who knew nothing about what they were working with (e.g. PEBKAC o ID-Ten-T)?
I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We've created life in our own image.
Stephen Hawking
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It gets better: This app was handed to me, so I can fix all kinds of weird and non-consistent errors that were happening all the time. The vb app was created by a contractor ($100/hr) who converted it from a Microsoft Access database that was developed by another consultant over a span of a year and a half for which she was paid in excess of $200k. Until this day, I cannot believe what I saw and comprehend how a consultant can get paid that much money for creating an Access database using textboxes as boolean variables and for another contractor to convert the code and not realize the insanity of that code either. And there was me, making just little over $50k at the time...disgusting isn't it
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Well, that goes to show what non-programmers think: "If I cannot read it, it must be the best thing out there!"
And that contractor was an ID-Ten-T that had a NullBrainException coupled with a IncompetentProgrammerException and a OverpaidPersonException.
I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We've created life in our own image.
Stephen Hawking
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Don't know if my most interesting/funny/silly but some of the last I found.
Comments should help to better understand ... maybe!
if (anyBooleanValue == false)
{
...
}
else
{
...
}
...
return;
Twice are better ...
DataTable dt = new DataTable();
dt = otherTable.Copy();
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I once had to work on a package (in an 3G language/database called Dataflex if anyone remembers it) that contained the following remarkd
The following is Himalayan Mountain Climber code, and so is impenetrable to us mere mortals!
When I asked what this meant, I was told that it had been written by a contractor, whose hobby was indeed climbing in the Himalayas, who was known for using all sorts of undocumented tricks to provide very clever and efficient code that nobody else could understand.
====================================
Transvestites - Roberts in Disguise!
====================================
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Browsing around the web (While working ) I found this beautiful page which gives an overview of the most creepy and crappy web pages. So what on earth made the webmasters putting such creepy stuff up to a web server (they wasted a lot of space, IMO)?
Find the creepiest pages of the web[^]
Note: I am not responsible for any eye cancers or serious health problems you may get after viewing the link 
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Idd Jeezus came to mind. Ah my eyes  .
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Haiti News Network is the most pathetic, real innovative work 
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They bring up the most earth-shaking new, I suppose 
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This site (which I have to use on occasion) uses Flash in the tab controls (be sure you have your volume turned up for this). The best I can tell, it's the only use of Flash on the site. So someone thought "this site is dull without little clicky noises; let's use Flash!" during development? I'm sure there are worse examples (open invite for examples), but this is simply overkill at best. Also, I have no idea why it's ftp, but whatever.
ftp://ftp.relius.net/Administration/quantech/RA170/RA170News/Default.htm[^]
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